Bernadine's Blog

Emo midnight post

2011-09-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

I drank a cup of coffee at 10pm, just to make sure that i can stay up late to finish my drama, how silly right? But that's life, i mean, its hard to get a day off and u know the fact that you can sleep till u wake up naturally without being nudged by friend to wake you up or without being woken up by your alarm. I feel really good now :)

In the previous post i talked about that ah kong right? The bad news is ah kong has passed away today, in a positive way, ah kong has left the pain, suffers, and worries on earth and returned home to meet Jesus already. I bet his relatives are very tired too.. Ah kong is not alone, he suffered physically while the relatives suffered mentally.. Its hard to see your beloved one laying on the bed and gasping for air, and seeing his condition deteriorating from days to days.. Honestly although its hard, but i would rather choose to let them leave the earth and return home in heaven earlier, its better for the both patient and relatives.

Although i love my grandma very very much, but i felt quite relieved and peaceful when i heard that she has passed away. Its hurt to think of her condition and imagining the pain that she suffered, fighting with the cancerous cells, stiff body, bed sore, dry mouth, seeing relatives cried because of her, bet popo felt very very sad too.. I still remember ahui once told me popo told her that she will be going to heaven very soon when she was very alert and conscious, before she was admitted to hospital. Whenever i think of this i never failed to cry. Popo loved us so so much.

My last holiday i went to Kuching's methodist church, it brought back soo many memories with popo..i used to go to that church with popo and my aunty since i was very young, but due to exams and endless tuition, and also we moved out from popo's house,we backslid and decided not to go to church anymore. We will only go occasionally such as christmas. -.- While singing song in church, popo's face suddenly came across my mind and tears started to flow down again. I remember how she carried her bottle and waited for us to get in the car.

Im very sad now. REALLY REALLY SAD.. I MISS POPO NOW.... :c

Im supposed to write a random post, about the ah kong but memories somehow brought me back to the days when i was with popo.. emo night, after watching the tearful korean drama, here i am again, facing the laptop with my tears again..

Its hard not to cry, when we say goodbye. Popo, bet you are in heaven already, please please, please drop by my dream and talk to me because im am missing you so dearly. Watch me from heaven ba, i love u and will always love you.

From your bibi :)

Brand new experience :)

2011-09-07T04:07:00.000-07:00

Since i have no one to talk to, let me just share it here la ;)

Im currently posted in the most most mOST happening ward in Pantai Bangsar Hospital, which is ward D2. If im not mistaken this is an orthopedic ward so you can find lots of fracture cases where patients cant move at all, so its our job to maintain their skin integrity so that sores will not occur.

I have this old patient with 92 years of life experience, he is warded due to malnutrition. At first when i look at him, he looks so (sorry to say) scary. Very thin, has an nasogastric tube, i can only see his sclera and his mouth is constantly open to gasp for air (i think). So there's this day, I was instructed by staff nurse to change his pampers, that was my first contact with him. I tried to move his legs because i need to take the soiled pampers out but his body is too stiff, and he shouted "aaaAAH" when i moved his body. I got scared! (as in omg did i hurt u??) but i was with staff nurse that time so ok la, not too bad =x

Since i am quite a senior in that ward ;p, staff nurses will call me to do every single thing, from big to small, clean to dirty because they believe that i can handle the responsibility now and do everything alone without help. So... They started to ask me to change ah kong's position, change his pampers and feed him through the tube, without giving me the chance to find a partner to help me. (I MUST SAY THIS: In a busy ward they will just throw tons of instructions to you, your answer must be yes, not but! "but staff nurse, i dont have partner to help me" << try to say this, and you're dead. =x they will not accept any excuses or craps) At first it was kinda hard for me, very hard actually, i tried to find my junior to help me but geez! where on earth is everyone? no choice, had to do all by myself.I went into his room, pulled the curtain, make sure no one sees me so that i can figure out what to do with him inside ;p i stood there looking at him, really dont know how should i start. :c To cut the story short, i managed to change his position and pampers and feed him successfully but of course, he was in pain, and begged me to stop moving him. sigh failed =x

That night, i prayed to God to give me strength and wisdom to help him, i also prayed to God to reduce his pain and make him feel better. Its sad for me to see him suffer like that, he reminds me of my grandma :C The next day, like usual, im supposed to change his position and pampers and feed him every 3 hourly in 1 shift, so i will be seeing him almost all the time in that ward. I kept saying sorry whenever i hurt him, talked to him although he is not so responsive, and hold his hand when he is in pain. I felt like im treating him like my own grandpa already. Yesterday i was in evening shift so when i reached the hospital, i visited him. He became so weak. He will shook his head to ask me to stop instead of voicing out his pain because he's too weak to shout. At night,I was supposed to feed him at 9pm but my bus will pick us at 9pm, i really dont know what to do. I asked staff nurse, she said, kalau tak buat, siapa boleh tolong saya? with kesian face.. aiti act kesian with me..then i say ok la saya buat la, so i did it very very quickly, like i didnt even talk to him, i just quietly do and finish everything in 5 minutes. (my bus will leave me if im late!) I felt very bad in the bus, i dont know why. I felt that im not sincere at all.. I went home and prayed again, this time i prayed for his healing and asked God to take away his pain.

Today, ah kong seemed responsive, he started to nod his head when i talked to him, i tried to ask for his permission to do the routine procedure on him, surprisingly he nodded his head! :D i was very happy that time! :)) His mouth and teeth is full with blood stain so staff nurse asked me to perform mouth care for him, so.. i need to clean his teeth! ;D i felt like im taking care of a baby eh, feed, change pampers, and now.. clean teeth! i've learnt that in sem 1 but surprisingly this is my 1st time doing this procedure. I prepared everything, covered spatula with gauze and used that to clean his teeth, together with a solution. I told ah kong i need to clean his teeth and asked him dont be afraid because this is not hurt at all, i suppose? Clean clean clean and i started to think that the spatula is too big for his mouth, so i used my hand instead to clean the unreachable part. I naughtily said, uncle dont bite my hand oh! and he opened his eyes and look at me. @.@ terkejut :p I dont know where is the blood in his mouth from so i dont really dare to clean every part thoroughly, so the last part, i asked him to open his mouth and show his tongue because i need to clean his tongue. SURPRISINGLY! he followed my order! i said that just for fun and just to inform him i am going to clean his tongue only, never did i expect that he will listen and follow my instruction. awwww~ When i was cleaning he always open his small eyes and look at me. So sweet kan? :D

I still have 3 days in that ward, i really hope that i have the chance to see ah kong being discharged from hospital. 92 years old is not easy, hang in there ah kong! Get well soon! ;)

Untitled

2011-08-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

If you have time, try to read back the first few posts in your blog. They really can remind you of all those happy, sad, angry, frustrated and crazy memories.

Everyone can read my blog so i cant post whatever that is in my mind now. I really wish I can have a private blog, and blast everything there, without anyone knowing..

What's wrong with me? I'm just missing the old me.. The happy, carefree, easy to forgive and forget and friendly me. Guess I've grown up to realize that I don't live in fantasy already. Sometimes I'm afraid to be too happy, because you know that sadness is waving and waiting for you at the end of the day.

All I can do now is to pray to God, because He is the only faithful person in this entire universe. If my earthly daddy is sooooooooooooooooooo good, what more about my heavenly daddy? He will not leave me nor forsake me. I know that :)

To you my friend, don't hesitate to make me feel sad.. Just go ahead, because i have someone to cry on and depends on right now, He is none other than Jesus :) so do whatever you like, im not gonna stop you anymore :)

伤感。。

2011-08-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

有时，你期望越高，失望越重，爬得越高，跌得就越痛。。我们做人最好是什么都不要期望。。该来的就来，该走就走。。不是你的，不管怎样你都不会得到，是你的，不管你要怎样逃避都逃不了。。

心冷了，心也灰了，怎么办呢？在这样下去，还是办法吗？

Long Distance Relationship

2011-07-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

High school sweethearts pursuing college degrees in separate and distant universities, lovers who ran into each other online and awaiting for the day they meet each other physically..
These are the typical examples of long distance relationship.

I have a boyfriend, we've been together for 3 years. Now that Im in KL and he is in Kuching, I've got no choice but to deal with being miles apart from him :c It is very depressing I can say, especially when I see couples everywhere, when I am sad and when I have something very happy to share. But this will not stop me from loving him.. :)

They said distance makes the heart grow fonder.. For me, i just think of it as a challenge. You see, couples who got the advantage of meeting up with one another frequently somewhat fail to count their blessings after some time. But for long distance relationship, you have every reason to defy distance, to keep the connection alive, and to look forward to seeing each other like it’s the most important thing in the world!

If you want to keep the relationship, then no one or nothing should persuade you to do otherwise – not your family and friends, and most especially not the distance.
Distance should not be the basis to end a relationship. Distance should be considered as a test to make the bond stronger. Test will eventually become testimony if you can withstand peer pressure, temptations, and even lust! ;)

Go on. Maintain the long distance relationship. Prove everybody wrong.

Father's Day

2011-06-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Father, I know I'm late. I'm sorry.. If you are sensitive and emo enough you will be looking at all the cards that we've made for you and present that we bought all these years and think, " where have my cute daughters been? where are the cards that they used to make for me? Are they getting further and further away from me? "

I know you will not think like that but i cannot help myself from thinking that way. Pa me and ah ying really wanted to make something for you.. Aying suggested to make a video full of our pictures together with you for your father's day present.. I told her I dont want to end up crying til our eyes become swollen the next day. Last night we chatted till early morning.. She suggested to write a letter for you, as your present. Again, I told her I dont want.. I dont wana cry..

Now I know why we can make all the cards for you and mami when we were young. It's because we were always close together, 'i love you' seems so meaningless and easy to say. Now i can cry in 0.2 secs if you want me to say that word or make a card for you. Thinking that we will not have much time together is really torturing me. I hate to think of stuffs like that :c

Everyone is getting older.You and mama are staying alone right now. You can do whatever you like, eat whatever you want and smoke as many as you can. But you know, this is very hard for me, I can cry every night thinking how are you two doing there. That's why i keep avoiding myself from thinking of all those things. I just cannot afford to see anyone of you to fall sick.

Done with nagging.. I just want to say thanks for your everything. Your time, energy, money, love and your patience for us. You are really a great father. You dont have to teach us how to live.. We know how to live by watching how you live your life. You are indeed our role model, the kind, smart, funny, sporting, handsome, patience and great great great to the infinity dadi! You should know how great you are just by seeing how much we love you. So please live healthily, avoid doing things that can harm you alright?

I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH PAPA! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!! :)))

Hope

2011-06-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

Hope,
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

There is a little girl in Australia. She wanted to attend Justin Bieber's concert so badly but as you all know, JB is so famous that the tickets were sold out in just 20 minutes. She could not get the ticket in time. With great disappointment, she went to her mum and complained to her.

Her mum looked at her and said: "come, let's go to the stadium and have a walk around the stadium. Maybe we can find some tickets on the floor.."

Of course there is low possibility that someone would actually drop the precious ticket on the floor but they tried it with hope anyway. So the mother drove her to stadium without any hesitation. Both of them walked around the stadium and kept their eyes on the floor to search for any tickets on the floor.

You may wonder what makes the mother has such initiative to drive her to stadium and give her false hope..But what's inside the mother's heart was actually "what's the big deal of driving my beloved daughter to the stadium? It is great if we can find the tickets; if not, i will just give her a warm hug, let her know that i will always be with her no matter what happens and tell her At least we have tried.. "

They saw a couple while they were searching for the tickets. The couple smiled at them and asked: "what are you two doing here? aren't you supposed to be inside the stadium now?"
The mother answered: " Actually we dont have the tickets to enter, so we are here to see if there are any tickets on the floor."
The couple was amazed by her answer, one of them said: " so do u mean you are finding the tickets by faith? "
"yeap! by faith and hope that we can find them."
"Wow! are u both christians?"
"yes we are!"
"oh great.." the couple said.."you know what, we are christian too, and we are JB's parents.. we are going in now, so lets go in together!"

So in the end they sat in VIP seat and got the chance to go to backstage and they even got the chance to meet JB. This is what happens when you have hope..Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. So whatever you do, dont lose hope.. Impossible will become possible, if and only if you have hope :)

Depressed

2011-05-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

woah my blog is cute now! :p But the problem that im facing now is not cute at all.. :(

1. Tutor confirmed our annual leave
2. Dont really trust her but since there's promotion, my mum just book "for fun?" although we dont trust them!
3. I've booked my air ticket back to Kuching on 10th June.
4. May - Tutor came in and informed us that annual leave subject to change
5. Dont really care because i always think that my college like to kaciau us with these kind of craps. -.- from sem 1 til sem 3, always tell the same thing only
6. 20th of May - Came in and asked us not to book first, because principal really intended to change our annual leave, i start to get worried :c
7. Look for tutor and principal, wanted to discuss with them but principal scolded us :

" You guys only care about annual leave, what so important about annual leave? It's not like u cannot go back! Always want to go home only, just look at your unit! It's so messy! You better spend your time to clean your unit, rather than stand here and wait for people to confirm your annual leave "

See how cool is my principal :) She can find a good reason to chase us away :) We looked at each other and turned to her, with =.= and angry face.. I mean, what's her problem?! we are talking about this matter, why suddenly ask us to clean or unit? zzz she kept scolding us and said JANGAN JELING JELING! BALIK RUMAH DAN TIDY UP YOUR UNIT PLEASE! #$!@!!#$%%$ bla bla blaa a lot.. without waiting for her to finish her never ending speech, we just walked away..

About our unit, not only our unit.. Every unit is very messy.. She received feedback from our warden and she got soo angry so she scolded us together with our AL matter.. And about "You guys only care about annual leave, what so important about annual leave? It's not like u cannot go back!" .... man she totally made me feel like punching her face! other students from west malaysia of course can go back, but what about us? we just can go back once in every 6 months.. what we wanted was confirmation of our annual leave and we dont want her to change the date because our tickets will be burnt if the date is changed. Is that too over? Thats the most precious one week we have with our family.. Imagine i only get to see them once every 6 months, twice per year.. and we have to work here for 5 years.. so how many times can i actually see them in 8 years? 16 times. 16 x 7 days = 112.. cool~ i only can spend 112 days with my family in these 8 years.. 8 years later, i guess both my parents already 50+ 60+..the happy moments together will just fade like that.. if anything happen to them, how much time can i actually spend with them?

They just dont understand :c

Beware of night shifts in hospital..

2011-04-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ready for more ghost stories??

This incident happened few weeks ago in labour ward..Actually the previous labour ward was in 3rd floor but due to renovation, labour ward has moved to 4th floor so of course, 3rd floor was dark and isolated and u know what will happen inside right? so here it goes.. Now 3rd floor is ready to be used and i was posted there few weeks ago..Things ran quite smoothly when i was working there until i was told by a ward aid that this ward is haunted.. she said there was one patient (patient A) who stayed in a double bedded room..At night the patient beside her bed kept talking to her.. I think its because each of their beds are screened so they cant see each other, only can hear their voices..so that patient on the other bed talk talk and talk until something strikes patient A's mind.. isn't that bed empty?? At that very moment, a staff nurse went in her room so she asked staff nurse that beside her got patient or not.. staff nurse said, nope.. that patient has been discharged already so there's no patient there... *tang tang...*

Another short story in this ward.. One day, we were warned by ward sister not to take off our nursing cap when we are working.. simply because those things will take our cap and wear it.. and help us to do our jobs... We knew this from patients as they claimed that someone with white clothes already helped them to do this do that already when we wana perform any procedures on them.. white clothes, but without nursing cap.. thats the only difference between those "helpers" and students.. so, beware~

Ok this happened to my friend.. She was allocated alone as a student in a ward during night shift.. she was ok and quite energetic on first few days but on the third day, she started to feel very very sleepy during midnight so she decided to rest for a while in pantry, alone..She just slept with her head on the table like how we sleep in class, and with lights on.. When she was about to fall asleep, she heard a very loud and clear and keji female laughter beside her ear.. She was very shocked and wanted to lift up her head but she couldnt move at all..she cant even lift up her head.. she opened her eyes and guess what? she saw a small hand, moving nearer and nearer towards her body and trying to pull her name tag off..and that small kid was laughing all the way.. she was very very scared but she cant move at all.. Suddenly she remembered that there's a buddhist azimat in her name tag and she tried to reach it but she just cant.. so she said a simple buddhist prayer.. amazingly, everything went disappear and she can finally moves.. scary huh?? ~.~

Last one! Another friend was posted alone in a ward during night shift too.. Usually at night, the staff nurses will do night round to ensure that all the patients are ok and comfortable ma so this staff nurse in this ward went to do round by herself.. she just opened the 4 bedded room door and looked inside only, without going inside because that bed is just in front of the counter.. She saw one lady, with white clothes/ uniform, standing in front of the patient's table and looking at her, as though she is doing some procedure or checking on the patient.. she thought that this lady is my friend,(a student nurse)because she is wearing white uniform.. but after checking, she walked to the counter and screamed loudly when she saw my friend sitting on the counter and talking to another ward aid.. so the "student" inside the patient's room is a..??? ~.~

All of these stories are real.. But just bear in mind that if u dont do anything wrong, there is no way that they will harm u.. keep praying if u ever encounter this type of problem.. You will never know how strong and helpful is your prayer in dealing with this trouble.. :D sekian, terima kasih!

My experience as a nurse

2011-03-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

I am a 2nd year nursing student now and so far everything is smooth sailing for me.. 2 days ago when mama called me, she asked me whether i regret to take nursing or not..Though i answered her confidently that i dont feel regret at all but this question kept popping out my mind at night.. hrmmm.. am i really suitable to be a nurse?

Last week i was posted in general ward where we can find all kind of cases in that ward.. I was instructed to send 30+ years old and healthy looking female patient for scope, which is called as oesophagogastroduodenoscopy -.- (OGDS).. Its a very simple, fast and safe procedure but when i sent that young and pretty patient into the scope room, she hold my hand and told me that if anything happen to her, she asked me to take out her organ donation card from her purse and hand it to her family.. i was like huh? then i replied her: " miss, this is a very simple and fast procedure, you will be ok.. dont worry " But she still insisted me to give her family the card, then i smiled to her and say ok ok i will, dont worry..

The next morning when i was about to check patients' vital signs, she already woke up and was reading her bible on the bed.. that was early in the morning and it was still very dark.. i felt glad deep inside my heart.. :) what a holy christian.. hee ok thats not the point! :D After some time doctor came to see her and showed her lots of x-ray films while explaining to her one by one.. i wanted to hear what doctor said but i cant hear at all so i just left the room and do my own thing.. Few minutes later staff nurse asked me to take out her branula as she is ready to be discharged, so i went in her room and talked to her.. ( our conversation )

me : So miss, hows ur result? :)
pt : Erm, not that good.. all my organs already become swollen..
me : O.o huh why?? did doctor tell u why?
pt : yea.. he said its because of the accumulation of fluid in my organs..
me : Huh?? accumulation of fluid? why?? ( i know i sound kepo here but its a fast and spontaneous conversation okayy )
pt : Erm.. because doctor said its already 4th stage already..
me : ( My eyes went O.O ) 4th stage???
pt : yea.. doctor said i have cancer..stomach cancer and its in 4th stage already.. the cancerous cells already spread to the other organs, including my lungs, liver, lymph node.. there is no cure anymore..

I felt so sad, just like a knife stabbing into my heart.. a young and pretty lady in front of me has cancer??? and its in last stage already.. i remain calm and looked at her..
me : so how did u detect it?
pt : i dont know.. i felt painful on my neck and i thought its because i didnt sleep properly at night.. now only i know its because my lymph node already swollen due to cancer.. and i am admitted in hospital because i feel that something is not right with my stomach as i always feel pain.. i just want to check.. i never knew that i will receive news like this.. its just too sudden..
me : miss, its ok,k? u just pray and pray.. Leave everything to God.. we cant do anything now.. the only thing we can do is to pray only.. :)
pt : oh so u are a christian too?? yea i know.. I believe that God will heal me.. He is the Healer..

I smiled to her.. but i know my face was very very down that time.. i just cant smile properly.. i was the one who told her that everything will be ok.. its only scope.. yea of course nothing will happen during the scope, but whats more important is the result of the scope.. and i totally forgot about that.. sigh.. but she looked so calm and cheerful when she told me about it.. she said the only thing that she's worried the most is to tell her parents.. she' afraid that they cannot accept this truth.. yea right... :'(((

I always wanted to enter her room and talk to her but i just dont have the chance..Few hours later, i was instructed to change bedsheet for the other beds in her room and i was like YES!! :p but she was packing that time and looked so busy so i just continue with my own work..

Then she walked beside me and gave me a flower and a card! specially for me only.. i am so touched.. this is my 1st flower from patient since i entered nursing course.. of course i dont mind for not having any but when i see my friends brought flower back, i will feel that am i not doing that good enough as compared to my friends? but know what? i just knew that most of my friends asked for flowers from patient's hampers or their bouquet of flower.. THEY ASKED FOR FLOWERS! i knew it from my friend..what the.. -.- so, this flower is sooo precious and special for me as i feel so appreciated..

so my conclusion is, so far, i can confidently say i love nursing because a thank you from patient can really make your day.. You see your patient enters hospital with wheel chair or trolley, looking so ill and walks out of the hospital healthily.. thats the greatest gift for every staffs in hospital.. For me nursing is not about gaining experience and help staff nurses only.. we have to serve patient sincerely and take care of them from the core of our heart.. people always make fun of nurses by saying nurses clean shit and urine only, but i tell u.. one day when your parents are old and cannot control their bowel already, shit and urine all over their bodies and on the floor, do u have the patience to help them to clean up everyday? i do.

sien!

2011-03-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

If i am sarcastic enough,
If i am mean enough,
If i am bitchy enough,
If i am daring enough,
If i am stupid enough, (as in i do things without considering the consequences)
If i am not fear of God

I SWEAR, your bed, your wall, your pail, your wardrobe and your everything..
will be full of my insulting notes that can give you nightmare!

##!$@$%@!$#@!!

You only know how to paste stick note on wall and notice board and tell ppl what to do (in a very sarcastic way).. have you ever think of yourself? Did u ever bothered about the duty roster that i've made? You didnt even throw rubbish, in fact u always throw the unfinished food inside rubbish bin and wait for people to throw it.. if no one wants to throw, then u will just leave your unfinished food in rubbish bin and let it decompose by itself.. damn

If you are behaving like this, who are you to tell people what to do? You are not even house leader.. if u think im not good and strict enough, why dont u be house leader?? im just soo sick of being one zzz

Who will back you up when warden come and check? ME!
Who will help you to tell lies when warden asked me where are u? ME!
Who will help you to carry this carry that back to unit when you want to balik kampung? ME!

nahhh whatever la.. lazy to talk about it anymore -.-!

This cny...

2011-01-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

This Chinese New Year i wont be able to see few faces..
1. Popo

I need to make a confession right here right now.. i bought a sweater for popo last year.. It is pink in colour.. a very cute sweater..i gave her on reunion dinner.. she asked me how much is it.. i said: cheap cheap nia la po.. rm20+ only.. then she said: "ok le.. not so expensive ho? it is soo nice.. :)" but now i wana tell u something po.. that sweater only costs rm5.. dont punish me! :ppp i dont understand why is it sooooo cheap.. me and my friend carmen saw it together and we chose together for our own grandma.. :) The sweaters are sooooo huge! XL, XXL, XXXL.. Maybe thats the reason why they only cost rm5..I felt a bit guilty when she appreciates it soo much as though it really costs that much.. i bought it just because its cheap.. and just to make her happy.. without bothering she can fit in or not.. im so guilty now.. :( i told popo she can actually wear this when she travels to China.. she smiled to me sweetly.. ohh man my vision turns blur again..:"( i just hate to recall back all the sweet memories.. :(

MOVE ON TO THE SECOND ONE~

2. Beverly Jong

I dont even wana think about this.. :( how would our cny be without u?? this really is the 1st time in these 20 years that u dont celebrate cny with us.. im really seriously extraordinarily sad! >.< *wipe my tears* fuh~ ok la ok la.. i dont want u to be sad too.. i know u will be ok without us..:) because i prayed for u in church that u will be ok and will not feel lonely in this festive season.. may grace be upon u honeypie..:) God is great.. He knows that u can cope and adapt with new surrounding well..Im too weak for all these.. im only in KL but i can cry like its the end of the world everytime i miss home.. so u imagine if im like u, stuck in US cannot go back for cny, what will happen to me? beh, heard that u dun wana come back to malaysia anymore ho? u said staying in US is like a dream come true.. although my face went =.= but i felt glad for u.. at least u found peace and happiness in US.. August September October November December January February.. half year luu~~ WHEEE~ take good care of urself k? just wana say that having u as a sister is the proudest thing that ever happened in my life.. Thanks for making our family proud :) Love u always honeypie :))

3. Chai Ming How

Nemo is my best buddy! he is like my brother but we are not like the rest, call each other kor kor mei mei.. i call him nemo he calls me bi.. natural right? :p we always start our conversation by the word "oi!" or "oi..." Nemo is a fierce person.. he wont give me face when he scolds or critics me.. i used to be quite afraid of him.. ~.~ no! im still quite afraid of him, he looked very angry because me and ac were not punctual when we meet up in sunway :P i will tell him all my problems.. especially when i quarreled with ak :p he always be pihak ke-3 and talk to ak..although he seems so kepo in ppl's eyes but he didnt mind at all.. there was once i asked for break up with ak.. because i couldnt afford to accept all the gossips from my friends..after telling ak that i wana break, i cried for soo long.. i felt so regret but i dunno how to tell him.. so i told nemo about it.. he told ak that its hard to find a girl who will cry for him.. at last me and ak berbaik sudah.. ^_^ nemo is like my soul mate.. :p he will be there whenever i needed ppl to talk to.. he is matured and neutral in giving advices, so i always will listen to his wise words.. too bad that we cant celebrate cny together this year.. :( although u are here but i feel that we can meet more often when u are in kuching as compared to here.. ish :( oh ya i dun have our pic at all la.. dunno why.. hmmk =( anyway, thanks for being my friend, nemo.. :) i wish u happy chinese new year and hope that u can find a sweet pretty and nice gf soon :p

4. Andrew Chai

Oh budak ini.. i know u play a very very important role in our daily lives.. i treat u as real friend when we gossip, treat u as sister when i have love problem, treat u as tauke when we wana have free ginger bread ice cream or cookies :p, treat u as enemy when u are acting so kiasu-ly when exam draws near, treat u as god when u sing k, treat u as clown when u tell jokes and treat u as psychologist when u consult and tell all the meaningful quotes..:p ac still remember our peribahasa? 天下无不散之宴席，we need to split and move on to our own pathway no matter how reluctant we feel.. Thanks for all the sweet memories.. i enjoyed laughing like mad with u all the time, enjoyed standing under the hot sun with u and kenny, and looking at our exam papers, and u looked up to us with this >_< face, telling us that u cannot see the paper because the paper is too bright XD ( only u me and kenny know how funny this incident is, right? :P), enjoyed waiting for the bus and at the same time feeding mosquitoes with our own blood, enjoyed the annoying moment when i was sooo busy studying and u called me soo many times to check whether i've finished revising or not.. to keep u updated ~.~ if i say im almost done, u will scream: aitiiii tze ling ni hen li hai ah! ni yi ting na A liao la~~ then laugh laugh laugh.. if i say i still have a lot more to study, u will say: bu yao jia jia la!ni yi ting si xie hao de liao! waaaa~ u were very much annoying that time! grrr~ but this is not sufficient enough to make me hate u la.. hehe :p anyway, take care yea my dear ac.. u too! if u found a gf, must let me know oh.. happy chinese new year to u! :)

My long long post about New Year :p

2010-12-31T06:13:00.000-08:00

Year 2008 - Countdown for Year 2009. 5 of us countdown at Boulevard Shopping Mall.. We watched dancing competition together while waiting for the clock to strike 12am.. 12am, we turned to each other and wished each other happily.. Papa hugged mami and 3 of us.. I really wished the time will stop right there.. I felt soo warm and sweet.. Its hard to find a family like this.. Dadi discussed with mami seriously about where to countdown, mami rushed us, commanded us to get dressed quickly so that we can go out earlier, dadi sanggup shop with us till 12am just to wait for the countdown, sanggup hold the camera whole day whole night to capture down all the sweet moments with all of us together.. Sanggup find carpark patiently although Boulevard was like China that time.. All of these are more than enough to prove that i have super duper extraordinary happy lovely family.. :)

Year 2009 - Countdown for Year 2010. I was having posting that time so i cant go back for christmas and new year.. How did i spend my new year in year 2009? :D Me and my friend cleaned our unit together since we have no place to go.. We just stayed in unit with one motto: New year, new unit! Must prepare ourselves and clean everything, throw all the unnecessary things.. Make our unit as presentable as possible.. New Year ma..:) hee.. We ordered good food too! Finally the clock struck 12am.. We climbed up the table, looked out of our window and we enjoyed looking at rich people burning their money to make the sky soo soo colourful..hee.. Thanks richie! who says we must go out to see fireworks? our 11th floor window can see whole subang including Sunway Pyramid le! :)

Year 2010 - Countdown for Year 2011. Fuhh finally~~ This year many people asked me out to countdown.. I rejected all because i don't feel like going out.. What is the meaning of Chinese New Year Countdown without my parents and my sisters? I feel that im soo old fashioned and narrow minded.. Everyone cant wait to finish class and prepare mentally physically to countdown, but me? i dont wana go anywhere.. I just want to stay in my unit like last year.. Plus, i dont like to go out till late night without my parents.. For sure that everyone starts to countdown 10 secs before 12am.. Dont tell me after u countdown u straight away go back? 5,4,3,2,1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ok, lets go back! @.@ Sure everyone will at least stay for another 1 or 2 hours, talk la, dance la, take picture la, go clubbing la,i dunno la you name it @.@.. This is against my college's rules and regulation because we are supposed to come back before 12am.. No No im soo not gonna break this kind of rules! Im a nerd right? :P But its for my own good too.. I think its very very dangerous to hang out till so late in KL.. in kuching ok la.. we even ate porridge in market at 1am.. Kuching, my hometown is peaceful.. Hey, stay here also not bad ba.. The malays are having karaoke in Mydin i guess.. The songs are soo rock and im soooo high!! =.= Kepalaku sudah mauk letup lahhhh~

No im not gonna stop here! hehe..
My new year resolutions!
1. Papa, you are at the top of my resolution list! Please! QUIT SMOKING! Mama, i want u to take good care of urself.. Stay healthy.. u know all of us cannot survive without u and papa.. :( PRAY MORE!

2. Get 4.0 in my exam! grrr~ i got 3.8, 3,7 and 3.8 in sem 1 sem 2 and sem 3 respectively.. sem4 i want 4.0! >_<

3. I want nobody, But u.. my bf~ :) New year new hope.. change to a better better person then i will love u even more! heehee.. We are entering our 3rd year.. can u believe it? HUGSSS~ :)I hope that we can continue to love each other, dont get influenced or "seduced" by other people.. :) and hope that we can trust each other even more, in times of difficulties :) And i want u to be sweeter! can? grrr!

4. I just dont have much initiative to contact my old friends.. In fact i didnt really contact anyone except my parents and bf.. thats all.. I hope that in this new year, i can find back all my old friends and let them know that i actually care about everyone.. just that im way too lazy to press my very very lagging and lousy phone.. and the battery will flat without even warning me! grrrrr~ maybe my new year resolution in list no 4 is to get a new hp ho? :P

5. My beloved ones that are very very far away from me : My forever gone popo, my sister who is in US, my friends who are in England and NZ and ect.. Let me dream of my popo and let me talk to popo in my dream please.. :( i want a real and sweet dream, not a weird dream like what i've dreamt that day.. popo.. i miss u :( Aying, please come back earlier because im missing u badly too.. Take good care of yourself alright?? :)

6. I hope that 2011 can pass by in a nick of time so that i can graduate and be a staff nurse very soon! I know being a staff nurse is very hard but stuck here also hard ya.. life must go on.. face challenges earlier, can balik kampung jaga parents and kao ing earlier also.. Faster faster! 2012 im waiting for u! :P

Dah dah my craps are long enough.. 30 minutes to New year so i wish everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR in advanced, and let the bygone, be the bygone.. Forgive but dont forget the past la because for those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.. Stated clearly in our sejarah text book.. XD Thats all~ TATA!

Cutee and happy dinner :D

2010-12-29T05:42:00.000-08:00

Funny incident.. :P

Today we cooked too much rice for dinner.. its like almost 3 cups of beras for 5 people.. So when the rice is cooked, one of my friends, bannu scooped rice for us.. The rice kept on increasing and increasing on our plates and we were like: ha?? still got a lot meh?? she said yeah! still got a lot a lot! then she continue to scoop for us..

They started to laugh and scream and shout and throw rice to each other's plate and claimed that their rice is too much.. Then the one who gets more rice will shout NO NO MINE IS SOOOO MUCH ALREADY! GIVE XXXX!! That XXXX will shout NO NO NO! GIVE XX!! again..Can you imagine this chaotic situation? :D ( As a house leader, ahem ahem..Of course i didnt do anything.. i just sat there and said: eh, dont play with food la...) At last everyone threw their rice for me and my rice ended up like a hill.. The terrible thing was, we only cooked cabbage, cabbage soup, potato and 炸菜 (according to my friend) for dinner.. If u ask for a reason, they will say, we will gain weight if we eat too much but u dont.. so im always the one who ate the most everyday.. Hmmm but i feel rather happy and lucky.. at least my stomach is full everyday.. :)

I wasn't kidding right? :P I managed to finish it anyway.. burrppp~ hee

基督教诗歌一件礼物 :(

2010-12-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

I thought time can heal everything.. But i was wrong..

Memories about popo are still very fresh in my mind.. Today we went to saberkas to reformat aying's lappy.. suddenly i saw sebastian, with a group of his church mates.. They were preparing to sing xmas songs on the stage.. We were very excited and we quickly find a seat to sit down.. They sang nicely.. i felt very warm and glad.. But there was one song which reminded me of popo.. its called 一件礼物.. This song is very familiar to me so i turned to ahui and asked her whether we heard this song before..she said yeap.. I turned away and continue to listen.. when they reached the chorus, images of us singing with popo and gugu in church came across my mind.. i cant get popo's face out off my mind..Tears started to roll in my eyes but i hold my tears so hard that i was so restless that time..i kept looking here and there, looked at my phone but i cant hold my tears anymore..I started to cry.. i dun want mama to get shocked to see my crying face so i turned to her and told her this song reminded me of popo..She cried in few seconds too..Due to my carefree attitude, or maybe because i still couldn't accept the truth? I almost forget that popo has passed away.. really.. :( I guess Christmas will never be the same for me anymore because i have lost someone very special in my life.. Someone whom i will think of the most when it comes to Christmas.. Please look after all of us from heaven k popo..:) i love u always.. :)

幸福

2010-12-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

我长大时，也要像我爸爸妈妈一样，两个人去旅行，爸爸帮妈妈拍照，妈妈帮爸爸拍照。。两个人坐在凳子上，一起吹海风，看风景，还打电话给我，跟我炫耀。。我真的很欣赏他们，他们真的很甜蜜，很幸福。。

这是爸爸帮妈妈拍得。。看她笑得几开心。。：）

这是妈妈帮爸爸拍的。。看他摆到几帅气！：）

我真的很向往这样的生活，有个那么好的老公，爸爸每次没事做就带妈妈出去玩，拿着相机，把妈妈当成模特儿，去orchid garden la, beach la, sunday market la, or even kopitiam..每天跟我妈妈抢电脑，两个人一起上网，一起顶嘴，一起笑，一起为了抢电脑而吵架。。我们都叫他们老顽童，几岁了还这样。。有时我想到都想要哭，我真的很幸福。。不过如果有一天，他们没有在了，怎么办呢？所以，我真的很怕他们不会好好照顾自己。。我不敢想象没有他们的那一天。。

主，与我们同在吧。。您是我唯一的希望了。。

Pray

2010-12-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

Meaningful quotes of prayer.. :)

- Dont pray for lighter burden, but stronger backs.

- To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.

- In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words, than words without a heart.

- Pray, and let God worry.

- Most people do not pray, they only beg.

- All prayers are answered if we are willing to admit that sometimes the answer is a 'no'.

- Most people pray as if God were a big aspirin pill, they come only when they hurt.

- Prayer should be the key of the morning and the lock of the night.

- If we do not love whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

My testimony!

2010-12-04T11:10:00.000-08:00

I have a testimony to share!! :) I just had my final practical exam few days ago..

Most of my friends are afraid of theory exam but for me, practical exam is so much harder than theory.. We only have 5 minutes to do each procedure and we wont get to know what procedures are we going to do till we enter the station.. So basically we really dont have time to think at all.. Once we go in the station, we have to read the question quickly, and perform the procedure in front of tutor.. Sounds so scary right?
T.T

So before the exam, me and my friends prayed together.. I was very very nervous as i was the first group to enter the station.. My friend prayed to God to blind tutors' eyes if we make mistakes.. I felt so relieve after we prayed.

When i enter the station, i was kinda shocked to see the procedure was insertion of nasogastric tube.. But i felt rather happy because i've practiced this procedure over and over again and i even prayed to God that whatever procedure i have practiced will come out in the exam. So i did the procedure smoothly, and i was shivering all the way although i dont feel nervous anymore.. DAAMN this is so embarrassing! My tutor stared at me when i was doing the procedure.. And she smiled, looking at my shivering hands as though i have Parkinson's disease or hypoglycemia. I cant even insert syringe into the tube and i laughed at myself for being so funny. Sigh.. Anyway, i managed to finish my procedure before 5 minutes.. FYI, this is a procedure with many steps.. we have to measure the tube, insert tube, check whether the tube is in stomach or not by aspirating gastric juice and pumping air into stomach and auscultate with stethoscope.. Most of my friends could not make it and the thing that bothered me was, did i miss out any steps? why i still have extra time after i finished everything and my friends cannot even finish the checking part? @.@

Another difficult station was injection. Injection is a tough procedure and we can fail easily.. very easily.. Apart from the never ending checking, let me name it.. Check for 6R's: right patient, right medication, right dose, right route, right time, right documentation and 3 Checks: before preparing medication, after preparing medication and before serving medication, we must check all these for 3 times! if not, fail.. Let me continue.. Apart from the never ending checking, we have to prepare the syringe and needle, withdraw drugs, change needle, remove air bubbles, not to forget, CHECK AGAIN, measure the injection site, 90 degree injection, swab correctly and give health education. Another procedure with soo many steps that can make u fail with a small careless mistake.. Ok so i did everything smoothly because God hears my prayer.. This is another procedure that i focused and practiced for so many times. I shivered a lot a lot too.. This tutor is the same as the one before.. and she laughed at me again.. maybe i really have hypoglycemia? Why cant i do my procedures steadily and cool-ly? :o And once again, i managed to finish everything before 5minutes..

I dont really know how was my performance.. Like maybe u did a careless mistake in between, eg contaminated the needle and u didnt even know.. This is the challenging part of practical exam.. U can go out of the station happily and confidently, telling the whole world that u manage to finish the procedure in time, without knowing that you have contaminated the needle in between,without knowing that tutor has put down her pencil and stop observing your procedure anymore.. Or maybe u forgot to follow the 6R'S and 3C's principle.. I have a friend, she just went in and straight away informed patient that she wants to give injection, without checking the prescription and performing the 6r's and 3c's. Tutor straight away drew a line on her marking sheet and gave her 0.. Luckily she realized and asked permission to redo the procedure again.. If not can u imagine how hard for u to accept the truth that u get 0 just because u forgot to check from the beginning?

Here comes my testimony.. I just received my result yesterday.. Praise the Lord, out of 20, i got 17.5 for insertion of nasogastric tube and 19 for injection.. Man, i really dont know what have i done till i can get such good results.. I know i wont be able to do this by myself.. I know God has given me strength and helped me in my exam.. Without him, no matter how many times i've practiced, im just nothing.. So i just wana tell u, When u dont feel like want to pray, thats the time that u need to pray the most.. Be it happy, sad, angry, frustrating or depressed, just PRAY.. :) Believe in prayer, as it is the best way we have to draw strength from heaven..

Our first self-cooked meal ^^

2010-11-20T05:38:00.000-08:00

Papa mama, check this out! :p

This is the first meal that we cooked by ourselves officially.. actually we cooked by ourselves 2 days ago but we bought rice from kopitiam, and we ate canned food.. all we have to do was to heat up the food only.. and we cooked jagung soup too..canned sweet corn, with the help of bannu..So, we dont really consider that as our first self-cooked meal..

But...
TODAY! we cooked rice by ourselves.. because only me and my friend in our unit so we did this without asking help from anyone.. hee.. washing the beras itself was a big challenge for me.. although i know this seems easy for me, but i still dont have the confidence yet.. :( and we also have huge trouble in figuring how much beras should we cook.. and how much water to cook the beras.. my friend suddenly came back so she taught us the technique to measure how much water should we put inside.. hee..

but but, can you see our master piece? as soft as mama your rice ah! :) looks nice, taste nice! :)

chiang chiang! this is our spinach soup, with 6 meatballs inside.. i fried garlic and anchovies first, then we threw the meatballs inside boiled water.. when the meatballs float up one by one, we threw the spinach in and followed by garlic and anchovies..

When my friend saw me eating anchovies and garlic in the soup, she told me she dont eat garlic in her mama's soup..and i answered her:

Usually I wont touch garlic and anchovies in the soup that my mama cooked.. but now im eating single thing inside, not because they taste nice; because i appreciate every single thing that i cooked..

-Quoted by bernadine- ^^
heehee.. :p

While waiting for the soup to be cooked, i, BERNADINE! use my own hands, to fry eggs! hee

But i dunno why.. my egg appeared to be soo much smaller than the egg that i fried for my friend.. hehe.. and i was having difficulty to turn over the egg.. i need more skill in that! :) but my friend praised me for the egg! hee.. how sweet and warm... :p

TADAAA! we finished everything! :)

Before and after.. :) erm 2 hours later i take picture of one more " final-after " pic la.. take pic of my chocolate cake.. hiak hiak! thats all~ :))

Sweet bf i have!

2010-10-16T03:02:00.001-07:00

I talked about 2012 with my friends.. They told me the evidences of the end of the world in 2012.. at first i didnt treat it seriously.. but when i sat down and think, i was like.. omg? then i cannot get married with him?? then i cant see him anymore?? noooooo!! i know i was like a freak that time but thats not important.. hehe

so i message him..

bi : hani hani.. world is going to end in 2012??

hani: Lingy, world wont end in 2012 la..huhu

bi : But what if it really happens?? then i cant see u anymore?? cant kao ing with u??T.T I DONT WANT! :(

hani: Wont ya lingy, even if 2012 happens, we still will be together in heaven... :)

bi : Then u must be good boy lo.. if not i will be in heaven and u will be in hell..hihik

hani: I memang a good boy ya, dont worry la lingy.. hee

AWWWW SOOO SWEEET~~~ I love u hani!! hee

我的婆婆

2010-10-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

婆婆走了。。虽然我的心很痛，但是我早就预料到了。。九月回家时，我去婆婆家探望婆婆，和她说话。。问她还好吗，她微微的笑了，说她很好。。她说话很吃力，也很模糊，我听不清楚。。但是还是很努力去理解她要讲什么。。我强忍着眼泪不要哭。。因为不想要让她觉的自己很可怜。。我摸摸她的手，她也紧紧地握住我的手，还看着我，和我微笑。。要回来KL时，我含着眼泪，哭红了双眼，告诉过婆婆，叫她要等我，我十二月就回了。。我还想要和她一起庆祝圣诞节。。叫她要好好休养，不用担心，因为她有主陪伴。。有什么事就在心里祷告。。但是我自己心里很清楚，这一定是我最后一次看到婆婆了。。虽然我叫她要等我，但是我也不要她被折磨到那么久。。所以我把一切交给主，由主来安排。。

回想起小时候，每天都是婆婆带我去幼稚园。。在幼稚园被欺负，婆婆就帮我骂他。。因为婆婆，幼稚园里上上下下的人都很怕我，连校长也很疼我。。我真的感到很幸福。。幼稚园毕业时，我有表演'拔萝卜' 的歌。。我扮演着一个老婆婆。。还要带一个围巾，我告诉婆婆我很怕，也很害羞。。她讲我傻，没有什么好害羞的。。最后我还是有表演。。

一，二，三年级也是婆婆带我去学校。。我和婆婆每个星期五都会迟去学校，然后婆婆就带我去走走。。我们每次一起喝barley+lemon,她说喝这个很凉，不会热到。。她还会买东西给我带去学校吃。。在半路上我跟她讲我要大便，她便停车，然后我在水沟大便。。被同学看到了，我还死不承认。。这个只是我和婆婆的小秘密，没有人知道的。。三年级时，我在放学的时候被雨伞勾到，跌倒了。。眼睛旁边被擦伤到很严重。。我很害怕被婆婆看到。。上车时总是遮掉，但是最后还是被婆婆看到了。。她还没问我我就哭了。。如果你看清楚一点，我的脸还有一点点疤痕。。让我永远难以忘记的疤痕。。我每晚也会帮婆婆盖被。。黄色的被。。人家都说我拍马屁，那时还这么小。。哪里知道什么是拍马屁，我只知道这个是我的责任。。有时婆婆还会叫我和她一起睡，但是我很少跟她睡，因为这是我粘妈妈的最好的时候。。

四，五，六年级时，我转校了。。变成爸爸载我了。。但是这并没有让我和婆婆变得疏远。。婆婆每天回家时，我都会自动拿药给她吃，一粒一粒黄色白色的药。。但是我一点都不知道那些药是拿来医什么的。。下午有补习，婆婆每天都准时叫我醒，还准备午餐给我。。有时真的很不想去补习，还哭了。。婆婆和阿盈还会笑我没有用。。有时读书回来不想睡午觉，婆婆还会骂我们。。叫我们一定要睡，不然晚上就会很累，不能学书。。那时候真的觉得很烦很烦。。也很生气。。都不了解婆婆的苦心。。婆婆每天下午也会准备午餐给我们。。那时我真的很瘦，如果我没有吃，婆婆还会骂我，问我以为自己很肥了哈？那时的我就无话可说咯。。乖乖的听话了。。

上了中学，我和爸爸妈妈姐姐妹妹就搬出了。。没有和婆婆一起住了。。婆婆有时会叫我们跟她睡。。她说她很想我们。。因为妈妈忙着做工，所以没有人煮菜给我们。。我们就每天回婆婆家吃。。婆婆和姑姑每天都把我们照顾得很好，煮好好给我们吃，婆婆家就变成了我们的托儿所。。婆婆还会给我们零用钱，叫我们要买东西吃，她说吃得不能省。。她还很担心，说我越来越瘦。。怕我没有吃。。有时候因为考书，我们都不想回婆婆家，因为要在家静静的学书，婆婆和叔叔就会带食物来我们家，叫我们一定要吃。。不知道怎么了，渐渐的，我们越来越喜欢留在家学书，不想回婆婆家了，便叫妈妈早早煮饭，下午我们回家时就自己弄烧来吃。。有时我们一星期才见婆婆一次。。那时都没有觉得什么。。一点都不珍惜。。

在婆婆眼里，我是一个不会读书的人。。姐姐妹妹每次都考到很好很好的成绩，而我的成绩却无话可说。。有时她的话会很伤我的心，说我不会读书，以后去supermarket折衣服就好了，不用读到那么惨啦。。大家都笑了。。我想笑，却笑不出。。还是死死假笑，怕她知道我很介意她这样说我。。也不想在亲戚面前哭。。我是一个自尊心很强很强的人。。说到我不喜欢听的话时，不管对方是认真的，还是开玩笑的。。我一定会生气的。。我常常都会向妹妹诉苦的。。只有她知道我的心事。。妈妈以前也是常说我，但是当他们发现我不能被讲时，就没有讲我了。。我不是小气，我只是很容易被伤到，开不起玩笑。。真逊！

得到offer来这里之前，婆婆很不喜欢我做护士，她总是叫我选老师，因为我同时也得到了师训的offer..但最后我还是选护士了。。婆婆很担心，我便叫她不用担心。。我告诉她我做护士也很好呀，以后她老了我可以照顾她。。她微微笑了。。来到这里时，婆婆常常会打电话给我。。我不曾自动打给她，有时接不到婆婆的电话，我也没有随时打回给她。。一直拖拖拖才打给她。。婆婆一定会问我有没有喝水，叫我不要吃炸的东西，不要吃那么多鸡，因为这里的鸡都有打针的，对身体不好。。我都会哦哦哦而已，有没有做到，我自己心知肚明。。婆婆也叫我帮病人换尿片时一定要戴口罩和手套。。我有戴手套，我告诉她我不用戴口罩吧，人家会说我千金小姐的。。但是她坚持叫我戴。。我只好答应她。。但是我并没有听她的话。。我还是没有戴。。对不起了，婆婆！

每次回家的时候，婆婆都会买很多东西，叫妈妈煮给我吃。。鱼啦虾啦什么都有。。但是我第二个annual leave时婆婆就不对劲了，她的癌细胞又开始扩散了。。我一回到家，看到她我便哭了。。她问我为什么哭了，我说因为我很久没有看到她了，很想她。。其实我真的担心婆婆。。怕哪一天她离开我。。她一直都有接受治疗。。直到八月一号，婆婆打电话给我。。我那时没有接到她的电话，因为我在study room 学书，准备我的考试了。。可是我的直觉告诉我我应该要打回电话给她。。我便跑出去，和她说话。。她说我每次打电话时都没有叫她婆婆的，我那时便叫了她一声婆婆。。她问我有喝多多水吗，我说有。。我真的有！然后我问她好吗，她说：“婆婆很好，你不要担心” 讲了没到两分钟的电话我们就说再见了。。谁知这两分钟，短短的conversation变成了和婆婆通的最后一次电话，最后一次听到婆婆最温暖的声音。。那次之后，我不知道几号，大概五号，婆婆就晕倒了。。被送进医院。。还中风了。。那时阿盈要去美国了。。大家都叫我回家，探望婆婆。。看到婆婆时，我的鼻子都酸了。。忍不住哭了起来。。才一下子而已婆婆就瘫痪在床上，不能动了。。我只能够回三天而已。。当我要回来kl时，大家都叫我别担心，他们会看好婆婆的。。

Raya时我又回家了。。那时婆婆已经出院了，我一回到家就大声地叫婆婆，告诉她我回来了。。她看到我时，开心地笑了。。还说好... 我那时很高兴，觉得婆婆越来越精神了，还会笑。。但是第三天，当我去探望她时，她愁眉苦脸的。。我问爸爸她做么？爸爸说婆婆真的很痛了。。连morphine都止不了她的痛。。婆婆，你的痛，我感受到了。。我的心很痛很痛。。。一直哭一直哭。。你也掉眼泪了。。我真的是很舍不得你。。挣扎了两个月，你终于离开了。。或许你现在已经在天上看着我了。。看着我为你流眼泪。。婆婆，我很替你高兴。。生老病死是正常的。。我明白。。那天写了封信，想要等朋友回古晋，然后拿给家里人，叫他们读给你听。。但是已经来不及了。。不用紧吧。。有一天我们也会在天上见面的。。天已亮了。。刚才祷告时，求主让我在梦里遇见你，想听听你的声音，想看看你最后一次。。但是没睡觉，就没希望了。。请让我见见你，听你的声音吧婆婆。。

我想对你说最后一次：

谢谢你从小到大对我的照顾，对我的关怀。。婆婆，我已经肥了，证明我在这里过得很好，不用担心我。。你送我的laptop..我也会用我生命来好好的保护它的。。你对我的爱，我永远都不会忘记的。。我爱你婆婆。。一路好走！

haiyooooooooo

2010-09-25T11:09:00.000-07:00

NOOOOOOOOOOO! In my previous post i mentioned that my video is successfully submitted dy.. CCRAPS! Tutor said very good very good.. But after our CEO viewed our video, she said we cannot put the Pantai College logo in the video.. we are not promoting our college now.. damn.. why dont u tell earlier??? :( Ok if its because of the logo only.. we still can think of a way to delete the slide.. but now the problem is, they still asked me to give the disc to my english tutor.. ask her to check.. WAH.. =.= she just check and change check and change.. i asked her dont change so much la.. If she change the script,we have to practice all over again man .. she said: Oh my~~ i didnt knew that! -.- ZHI DAO JIU HAO LA! but she still changed a lot so we have to redo and memorize the script again..

We always forget the script and tutor only give us 1 hour to practice and record on the next day.. The 1st time, chaotic.. second time, ok but need more practice.. 3rd time, smooth but when we say thank you and waiting for the conductor to conduct, my tutor suddenly say 'thank you' and smile.. hoi!!! what so funny! we were still recording man...she thought we finished recording dy.. half dead -.- then the 4th time ok la..not so smooth but bopien, must use this one because we dont have time to record anymore.. but i really cant smile at all..the previous one i still can smile nicely ah.. this one my face was like going to kill ppl nia.. zzz.. so friends.. sorry ya for the damn poor video.. memalukan only..cz its tooo last minute and we've tried our very best.. and i was wrong about my college la.. they dont want to promote our college.. my tutor said this is world wide video.. to create awareness about breast cancer.. i was thinking.. 才怪啦我的 video can create awareness.. hehe

GRRRRR！

2010-09-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!

Disaster choral speaking

2010-09-18T02:34:00.000-07:00

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.. BECAUSE ITS VERY LONG~ :p

I have nothing to do now.. just wana write something to spend my hot and boring afternoon.. fuh~

Recently nothing happened to me.. just done with our breast cancer awareness choral speaking.. I got to know that the reason for me to be chosen as assistant group leader is because i was absent for the meeting that day.. No one on the spot wants to be group leader so they came out with this idea: " Eh! choose those who dont come for meeting lo??? " damn! i didnt attend the meeting because i went back to kuching.. that was my emergency leave man.. fine..

Then me and my leader went to meet our tutor in charge for this activity.. But tutor said: " Bernadine, i want u to be the leader! " craps! i am a poor leader.. i was a group leader, lead 10 members.. and house leader.. lead 7 housemates.. My members said they love me as a group leader because :

1. i conduct few meetings as compared to the rest of the group leaders
2. even if i conduct group meeting, our meeting wont exceed 15 mins
3. i always choose to do things by myself..

not because im hardworking.. because i dont like to see people's facial expression when i give them things to do.. AND IM LAZY TO LISTEN TO THEIR EXPLANATION FOR NOT DOING THEIR JOB WELL..

4. i will try my best not to make my group members get into troubles

eg: I lied to my tutor that i forgot to bring pendrive on the day of our presentation.. the pendrive is in my bag.. just that my group members were not ready to present at all.. so.. thanks to me :) tutor nagged me like hell and i saved their lives!

Forget about the leader leader issue.. my breast cancer awareness choral speaking is really a disaster.. that is a competition among the classes in my college i guess?? First price rm500.. *blink* we have to record it, then burn in disc, then upload in you tube..the thing is.. we never took it seriously.. 2 meetings were conducted and we practiced twice only.. when tutor asked me about it, i said.. yea we are doing it well.. we are practicing and bla bla bla..

When the due date is coming, tutor started to ask about our progression and she wanted to see our video.. we just use digital camera to record in class and show her.. of cz.. we didnt memorize the script.. i wrote everything in mahjong paper and put in front.. and they just have to look in front and read.. :p But things turned up to be very sucks.. tutor nagged me like hell again when we showed her the video.. she blamed us because the voice was not clear.. and our actions were not natural.. and many more.. i fought back and said: "Thats the camera's problem! not our voices' problem.." then she said: "is that my problem?? since its camera's problem, then solve it! " then she walked away.

She made me feel very down.. We are students.. how can we afford to have a video cam?? or record in studio?? or she wants radio station?? zz then i started to be serious.. i asked them to practice and practice.. Praise the Lord, my friend said she has a video cam at her house.. i asked her can she go back and take? she said she needs to ask her mother.. Thank God again.. her sporting mother drove all the way from cheras to here just to send the video cam here.. We practiced once again in the class on the next morning.. then record..

We sent the video for tutor to see again.. she said she wants to see the script.. Then she did hell lots of corrections.. asked us to add this add that.. wth! We sent her the script earlier on and she didnt even say anything.. now she wana do sooo many changes.. i was very angry.. but i still change the script.. the problem was.. what will my members think when i tell them we have to practice all over again? =( I wrote everything again and show her.. she said very good.. and asked me to show another tutor.. and another tutor..and another tutor... i showed 4 tutors and changes were made according to their wishes.. We even made a banner for this activity.. until late night..

The next morning, when we were practicing, our tutor saw our banner and she just threw out words that hurt me to the max: " i thought u all are very creative.. is this the only thing u can do?? u all just make my disappointment and expectation down down down to zero.." wei... we just have 1 night to make it okay? i spent my time to colour.. friends spent their time to decorate and the others spent their time to cut.. tho it looks simple but at least thats our hard work ba.. i just stare at her and dun want to layan her anymore..

We practiced in the class again after she went out.. She came in again when we wanted to record.. we just do normally and tried our very best to show her we can do it.. and we practiced till we can memorize the script already so we didnt refer at all.. she clapped her hands and said WELL DONE when we are done.. i was sooo happy!! :) She asked us to show our video to the other tutors.. Then the other tutors still complained about our voice.. They said our voice not clear at all.. so they let us use the hall to record.. ok lo.. record again lo...

In the hall, the last row students stood on chairs and their complain was: Its not nice for them to see the chairs.. Chairs are for people to sit, not stand.. You cant show people things like this in you tube right?? try to record again.. FINE!

Record again..their complain was.. You must have some skills in recording! when one person is speaking, try to zoom her face! make it more interesting! Record again and again and again~ My friends stayed up until 2 just to insert subtitles in it.. they just say change change change without even considering our feelings.. yea i know we must not show such low quality video in you tube.. but we tried our best liao ma.. =( after all the challenges we faced.. finally we have submitted our video successfully.. Now my big question is.. WHY YOU WANT US TO UPLOAD IN YOU TUBE?? CANT U JUST ORGANIZE ONE AND LET US COMPETE IN COLLEGE?? Trying to promote our college? or really about breast cancer awareness.. sigh tired... :( If u happened to watch our video in you tube, dont laugh at me ya! XD Tho lots of changes were made but we still did it erm... badly? i mean not so goodly? or funnily?? XD

Anyway.. trust me.. no matter how bad iT iS.. im still proud to say thats our best master piece ever.. :)

popo :(

2010-08-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

This august is soo chaotic.. my beloved popo is seriously ill and she is in hospital right now.. All my relatives visited her already but not me.. I dont know whats wrong with my aunty and uncle.. They said just because popo yet to see me so she doesnt wana leave yet.. BULLSHIT! if after seeing me will let her leave this world, then i rather dun wana let her see me.. i want her to live longer.. and i have faith that she will get better.. God is with her.. she has been a good christian all these while.. there is no way God will let her suffer.. sigh*

They even bought the clothes and big house that people used to burn for the dead person.. =.=!!! Do u have to prepare all these right now??? u just make me feel that u cant wait for her to leave.. sorry to say that but i really hate it! They urged me to go back to kuching tomorrow.. if everything goes smoothly then i can see her 2mr.. i hope by seeing me her condition will turn better.. not like what they said.. can leave this world without feeling reluctant..

This is a picture of my popo.. i asked aying to take a pic of her to let me see.. Tubes all over her body.. tears cant stop flowing down when i see this.. :(

She called me at 1st of august and told me she is perfectly fine when i asked her how is she.. she asked me to drink more water, eat healthy food and must take care.. but now.. she cant even open her mouth and talk.. i really cant take this.. oh lord... :'(

Must get well soon, popo..

I swear that my popo is one of the most important person in my life.. I know everyone will leave, and maybe by leaving this world will make her feel better, but i pray to God to reduce her pain and let miracle happen to her.. i pray for my grandma because the Lord's word says i should pray for her healing.. I believe God hears my earnest prayer from my heart and i have faith in God to heal her..

Lord, i dont always understand Your ways, and why my grandmother has to suffer.. but i trust you,..I ask that You look with mercy and grace towards my grandmother.. Nourish her spirit and soul in time of suffering and comfort her with your presence.. Let her knows that You are there with her through this difficulties..

I know you will get better, popo.. Hang in there! dont worry k? even if you leave, you also will be going to heaven and meet gong gong... after a while we will meet again up there.. thats the real and eternal reunion..

Happy Birthday

2010-07-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to your mum, because of her, i can meet u

True ghost stories

2010-06-04T02:23:00.000-07:00

Ghost ghost ghost again.. O.O! i had my night shift in Pantai Hospital Bangsar for 3 nights.. Thank God i never met any of them but i heard a lot from friends and staff nurses..

Story 1:
This is a true story based on my senior. It was 4am..She wanted to go 7th floor to take something for staff nurse and as she went into the lift, a guy entered with her.. The guy looked like a doctor, might be due to his physical appearance and the way he dressed himself up.. My senior wished him good morning but there was no respond from him. The guy went behind her and my senior asked him which floor is he heading to.. No respond from him too.. So my senior assumed that the doctor is heading to the same floor as her too.. It was pin drop silence and suffocating in the lift.. When they reached 7th floor, she turned behind slowly... and guess what..the so called doctor is gone...She was alone in the lift.. If i were the girl, i would collapse on the spot.. Total shut down.. tehee*

Story 2:
This is a true story based on myself! :) When i was having my evening shift, it was 8pm.. Everyone was busy with their works.. When i was standing at the counter and doing something else, i heard loud noise in front of the 4 bedded room.. Those were indian staff nurses.. They spoke in Tamil and looked so scared.. i was the only chinese so i was like yeah what the hell?? Then my Indian friend told me they saw someone lying on the bed in that dark, cold and empty 4 bedded room.. The 4 bedded room has a window on the door so we can actually see through the room.. 2 staff nurses saw him and they believed he was the patient who died 2 weeks ago on that bed.. I was so daring to go and check in that room.. For God's sake i see nothing.. phew!

Story 3:
This is a true story based on my friend.. It was night shift as well.. She attended a call bell in the middle of the night and it was double bedded room.. The double bedded room only has 1 patient inside and the patient always complain that the tv beside her always switch on by itself... Besides that, my friend always attend "prank" call bell.. XD When she entered the room, it was empty room with zero patient in it.. So who presses the call bell?? God knows.. hee

Story 4:
This is a true story based on my friend too.. It was 7pm, when she was taking care of an old indian grandma, the grandma kept on pointing to the ceiling.. My friend get annoyed and scared because she doesnt know what is the grandma pointing at..and lastly she said.. "she always look at me.." WAHH!! total shut down! :(

Story 5:
Last night around 2.30am, my ward received a new admission.. She is an old chinese grandma.. I did some orientation to her regarding to her room..She is alone in the 4 bedded room.. But she wasnt looking at me when i was explaining everything to her.. her eyes kept on looking at the bed which is opposite to hers..Then i asked her whether she wants to screen her curtain or not and she nodded.. so i screened it.. Then the upper part of the curtain has some kinda hole or dunno what la.. its decoration of the curtain anyway.. The creepy thing was she kept on looking at the hole and then..she smiled.. My face turned O.O!! then i switched off her light and ran out for my life.. arhhhh~ It was midnight and i was alone.. i dont care whether she smiled to me or she recalled something sweet or she memang like to smile.. This is just soo creepy! oh lord.... :( i cant ask her what is she smiling at.. if she answers: i smile to that lady who is sitting on that bed ya! or she says: " Neh, she is coming and she is just beside u.. " i will... BLAHH dunno what will happen to me by then..

Hantu hantu hantu.. They are everywhere.. I still have many true ghost stories here.. in my condo also got.. but just forget about it.. dont wana show my interest towards them.. hehe.. :( scary~

Agressive ah kong

2010-04-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

A 96 years old ah kong had just admitted to hospital yesterday.. He was okay yesterday.. he allowed us to check his temperature blood pressure and everything.. But today i dunno what happened to him. When my friend and i wanted to check his vital sign, he scolded my friend.. he said why we can wear baju, he cant wear baju.. i got shocked.. then he took away his blanket and showed us.. yea he is naked.. hehee.. i said maybe he is fever thats why doctor took his clothes away in hokkien.. we communicate in hokkien anyway.. But we still couldnt take his vital sign at all.. He kept on scolding my friend, said he wana tie her up and let her taste the feeling of death.. i laughed hard ah.. so cute~

After a while,a chinese staff nurse asked me to go into his room with her.. she wanted to change his bedsheet.. But the ah kong became more aggresive when he saw the staff nurse.. he wanted to punch her.. and scratch her hands when staff near was beside him.. hehe seriously i was laughing there..:P Then he kept on scolding the staff nurse, said we do all this just wana eat his money.. give medication also wana eat his money.. and he even used the call bell to hit staff nurse.. swing swing swing the call bell there.. 96 years old.. imagine~

I just kept quiet there.. i looked at him for a long time.. he made me think of my grandpa.. :( Staff nurse had not much time to layan him so she asked me to take back call bell from him and she went out..

I apologized to him first then i talked to him softly and gently.. okay i expect him to shout at me too.. i stood very far from him.. Surprisingly, he answered me slowly too.. He tried to talk to me and tell me something, i couldnt listen clearly so i went beside him and listen.. He touched my hand.. and begged me to call his son to come.. i was like.. awwww... :( i said.. "ok ok ah kong.. wa kio yi lai.. lu tang ha..u give me that call bell first ah kong... i need to use that call bell to call ur son.." Then he gets mad and said.. "this is to call misi! not to call my son!" wah.. so clever.. hehehe..k lo mission failed.. i went out and never go in again..

Then few hours later, i heard the staff nurse complained that the uncle hit her with call bell and scolded c***i c***i.. waaaa.. ah kong, not bad bo.. still know this bad word.. And he chased his relatives out too.. i guess he is waiting for someone.. someone that he really wana see the most..T.T

Then the last time staff nurse asked me to empty his catheter and measure his urine.. so i went in with hati yang berdebar debar.. i scared he will hit me with call bell too since i will be doing something on him.. But he was sleeping that time.. i looked at him and he suddenly wake up.. i was like.. " oh shit matilah aku " Then he looked at me and smiled to me.. he told me he is going back.. awww.. then i said.. wah ah kong, ane lu ma si jing hua hi? ( then u must be very happy lo? ) then he smiled and said yea.. jing hua hi.. he said i have 孝心 ah.. XD! nah.. im just being human.. :)

K la ah kong.. take good care of yourself la.. i dont wana see u here again oh.. :P Thats all~ hee

:(

2010-04-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

Im terribly bad mood now!!! there's an anonymous kept spamming me and miss call me.. say he wana tell me something.. and kept asking me know who he is or not.. I KNOW! BUT IM NOT INTERESTED TO KNOW YOU!! AND I DONT WANA ADMIT I KNOW YOU!!! If i say i know u, how should i react when i see you?! He just text me again and say " haha die u ".. okay... what the hell is he trying to say?? i get pissed off so i replied him and asked him to tell whatever he wana say in ONE message and DONT SPAM.. u know what he replied me?? he said next time baru he tell.. now nt in a good mood and busy now.. woah.. like i care...zzz its now or NEVER.. if u dont wana tell now.. dont tell me and dont find me forever please..... i dont have so much time to bother about u.. and one more thing.. his english SUCKS till the max la.. i dont even understand a single thing he said.. thats the most annoying thing!

haih.... i know im very bad by telling all this.. honestly im being a bit discriminate too.. but thats human being.. what more can i say? since i cant tell people..this is the only way i can express my feeling.. and one more thing that made me sad and angry too.. but im too lazy to mention about it liao.. speechless * you just take more than u give~

5 alpha

2010-04-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

I realized that its been a long long time since i last chatted with my kuching friends..I just wana let all of u know that.. no matter how many friends i have here, none of them can menandingi you all in my heart..

and i tried to draw our sitting plan in 5 alpha few days ago when i was having my class.. amazingly, i can remember clearly everyone's seats.. except sebas and the gang there.. im not that sure about that because they always change their seats.. this shows how naughty they were.. tehee*

I dont wana forget our every single sweet and bitter moments together.. the time when we gossiped and talked in chin chee leong's class, the time when we ejek teachers' name, the time when we laughed hard at steven ong's lame jokes, such as.. " you can write in any paper, but not toilet paper.. " with his 24/7 = = eyes and his square face..XD the time when we fell asleep in sejarah class, oh by the way.. who's our sejarah teacher during f5?? O.o and the only time when we were very serious during phys and bio class.. jacinta always can read people's mind,*hate it* and angie leong.. the fierce and at the same time, quite lovely teacher.. and the time when we laughed at our "princess fiona".. hehehee..

heehee i love kuching! because you all came into my heart and left a smile on my face right now.. :)

TSK TSK TSKKKK!

2010-03-17T23:20:00.001-07:00

Most of the nurses are kind and gentle, but i read an article today.. thats terribly sucks..

A pregnant lady is admitted into hospital because she is going to give birth soon.. One night, due to contraction of her uterus, she was having severe pain.. and she pressed call bell to seek help from nurses.. that was in the middle of the night.. Maybe because she woke the nurses up or what ( which we dont know what were they doing that time ).. the nurses were very angry.. they scolded her and said :

" sekarang mengadu sakit, masa buat kenapa tak mengadu sakit? "

(oh by the way, they are not supposed to sleep during night shift!)

and this is a hospital in kl, but didnt state which hospital is that.. and its a high class hospital too.. i wonder.. which hospital is that... tsk tsk tsk...

food food food.. cook for me la~~

2010-03-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

i owe you this..

You owe me this!

*giggle*

my love story!

2010-03-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

Love is not finding someone to live with, It's finding someone you can't live without.

Do u still remember i told u this before?
My love for you is a journey
Starting at forever
And ending at never.. :P

We've got this gift of love,but love is like a precious plant. You cant just accept it and leave it in a cupboard or just think its going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it And you've got to really look after it and nurture it..

Life is full of surprises, and you dont know how much you'd missed something

Until you almost lose it..

yea.. She will definitely chase you around for a while but there's going to be a day when she's gonna stop running in-circles around you.

She is going to get over you and at that very moment, you are going to wish that you had let her catch you

=(

In primary 6,

When i met you, my heart skipped a beat

The sun became the moon

And cold turned into heat

Roses weren't red

Violets weren't blue

All because i fell in love with you

heehee!

But now,

A day without your love Is a day without life..

I've been missing u honey..

The bad guys lie to get in my pants And you lie to get in my heart

Thats why i love u sooo muchie!

Just wana tell you that,

in the middle of this lonely night

i've been missing you so badly :(

i really appreciate the moment when im with you.. hope to meet u soon.. <3

Although you are far from my eyes,
but you are always and forever close to my heart.. muacks!

Sweet moment

2010-02-14T06:18:00.000-08:00

This is my second day in kuching.. few more days to go.. :'(
Instead of ice cool finger that pokes me to wake me up everyday in kl, daddy woke me up by calling me bibi and say : eee? 做么多出一个肥婆在睡觉呢？i opened my eyes and replied him with a smile, then continue to sleep..

Instead of small hard bed and very warm room in kl, i can fall asleep in just few minutes on my big, comfy bed and cold room.. with teddy bears and pillows surrounding me..awwww..

Instead of all kinds of nasi goreng, from nasi goreng biasa till nasi goreng pattaya la, nasi goreng ayam la kampung la cili padi la cendawan la.. i really enjoy eating mummy's home made food.. simple vege and fish and meat with soup..

I just went to my 奶妈's house.. which means my baby sitter.. she told us many stories.. she said when i was a baby i cried the most..I stayed in my "sarung" and watched an indian movie, the scene was about the bad guy wanted to kill a baby..maybe because he is black? or i kesian the baby? nah dunno why.. i cried till very loud.. she got scared and rushed to me.. wondering why am i crying since there is nothing to make me cry.. hihik silly baby.. then my dadi said im caring since baby.. should say i love to cry since baby la..

She also told us when we were baby, mummy bought a packet of sugar and fetch us home from 奶妈's house.. then we played with the sugar on our bed while mummy was busy cooking.. she didnt know that we were playing with the sugar..then when she came in our room, we were tearing the packet and sugar is all over our bed.. plus daddy went to miri to work that time.. 妈咪肯定气死了！heehee

Today is valentine's day.. so boring.. honey ah.. why i dont have present kei?? heehee..

Anyway..

Happy Chinese New Year

and

Happy Valentine's Day everyone~

祝大家爱情甜蜜哦！

还有，我爱你哦哈尼！嘻嘻

讨厌！

2010-01-31T06:52:00.000-08:00

最近心情十分糟糕。。不知道为什么。。原因只有几个，那就是：

1. 和学长们posting.. 因为我在那里是唯一一个学妹，她们老是吩咐我做东做西，而她们则在那里谈天说地。。还讲我，说我做的很慢。。当时我生气了，瞪了她一眼就走掉。。这么厉害就自己做啦。。我不介意做这么多工，但是当我做得脸都红红，肚子一直打鼓都还没停下来时，你连理都没有理我，只会以非常骄傲的语气说我做得慢，叫我快一点。。好失望！我一个人要拿完二三十个病人的温度，血压，脉搏和心跳叻！一个人哦！没累死也忙死啦。。T.T staff nurses都知道我有乖乖的做工，她们给我吃鸡排呢！ ward aid也请我一片pizza..怕我太忙而忘了吃我的pizza,她帮我打包起来，叫我带回家吃。。然后当我在做工时，staff nurse打了打我的屁股，叫我去休息，不要累坏身体。。给学长们做。。最好！>.<

2. 不知那一个家伙惹我的哈尼生气了。。搞得他每天都坏心情。。如果被我发现到那是哪一只家伙。。你死定了！讨厌你！害得我每天也跟着他坏心情。。有多么多话要跟他说，有多么多故事要分享。。但是他那么伤心，我怎么能说呢？："(

*好想要对你说我好想你哦。。好久没见到你了。。下次见到你不知道会不会害羞叻ho? hehe*
你要加油哦。。打败坏蛋！子玲铁定支持你的！

我的华语有一点进步了哦~ (*^__^*) 嘻嘻……！

Doctor ma ma wo!

2010-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

Day off today but i have nothing to do.. so sesat la.. im the only one who has day off today so i cant go anywhere alone.. sigh..

Yesterday was a tough day.. Got scolded by doctor.. grrr..He asked me to get him an incopad.. but i didnt open for him.. i just gave him and he scolded me.. ask me why never open for him..he asked us why wana be a nurse, nurse should be functional..should think! then my friend laughed.. then he scold us again.. ask us we think that its funny kah? why laugh and smile.. we were like O.O! sorry la how we know wor.. T.T Then he asked me to stay with him and asked my friend to call staff nurse..He nagged a lot and gosh.. I was standing beside him and dunno what to answer.. He gets mad simply because the things that he wanted were not in the trolley.. when he asked us where is the syringe, my friend told him finish already and the staff nurse is finding.. He shouted and said dont give him such stupid rubbish reason.. and keep scolding the staff nurse and ask him dont give him that bloody trolley..

Seniors came in and he scolded them also.. they were like O.O WTH.. what is doing on?? heehee.. Then i sneaked out from that room.. Dont wana stay there and get scolded la.. so tension! but no matter how.. i stil respect him.. he is cool~ especially when he is serious.. heehee

Off again tomorrow.. can go kai kai with friend lo 2mr.. pia cny clothes.. and pia for afui la.. always ask me to buy for her nia wor.. your jie jie also pok kai liao la.. but sure thing my dear.. sure i will buy for u la.. ^^ love me? thanks.. hee

心事

2010-01-21T03:34:00.001-08:00

为什么我最近总是发脾气呢？总是为了一点小事而生气。。开始觉得累了。。我不想当家里的ketua。。更不想当group leader。。好压力哦。。那天才被老师骂。。好讨厌。。当然不是我的错，但是不管发生什么事，当然是我先中咯！成员没有practice procedure,我中！成员不会做，我中！什么都是我。。好烦。。。回想当天我几认真的叫每位成员一定一定要练习。。她们只是非常敷焉的答应我而已。。谁知第二天我真的是因为没有好好练习而被骂得狗血淋头。。讨厌！讲真的也是那个讨厌鬼老师啦。。随便骂人。。。当我不知道是太生气还是伤心还是羞耻而掉下我宝贵的眼泪时，我的成员们跑过来sayang 我。。向我道歉。。嘻嘻。。知道为什么我要那么认真的叫你们练习了啦？ hmmk..现在更加糟高，男生总是来我的家。。虽然不是来做什么，来上网而已。。但是如果被warden发现到。。我就等死吧。。你们不要在给我添麻烦了啦。。真是好生气哦！

不管怎样，规则始终是规则。。不管我几讨厌，也要尊守。。我不高兴如果我的朋友为了一时的贪玩而犯规。。我不想见到自己的好朋友中骂。。如果你被学校踢走，我肯定会十万分的伤心的。。不管平时几不认真，几顽皮， when comes to serious thing.. no means no! 不要对我撒娇，谢谢。我不吃这一套的。。

英文老师那天叫我们讲一讲在这里认识的新朋友。。我认真的回想从第一天到现在的朋友们。。好想哭哦。。认真的想了过后才发现身旁有那么多位非常疼我的朋友。。我为了过年不能回家，哭了不知道几多公升的眼泪。。每天在班都以泪洗脸。。虽然你觉得有一点夸张，当是我就是这么夸张。。我多么多么想家你们知道吗。。就是这时侯我的朋友们每天都安慰我，sayang我。。她们一有回家乡就会问我想吃什么。。她们带了好多好多食物给我哦！有时我会觉的好幸福嘢！嘻嘻。。
现在能会家了。。我真的好高兴。。因为我的朋友们咯。。向校长说肯让我回家。。我才有家好回啊！太感激大家了。。 <3

after all.. college life is not that bad ma.. :) without my beloved family and honey and friends.. i still have new friends to take care of me here.. so dont worry about me k? i will take good care of myself.. see you all soon in kuching oh! hee

Happy 3rd anniversary!

2010-01-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

Dear :

Remember?
You chased me during f2,
By giving me a lil teddy bear for valentine's day
But you didnt confess anything to me
Our relationship was like a lil lil bit closer than friends only

During f3,
Someone told u that im a play girl
That makes u gave up on me
and u like other girl
So am i..
I liked other guy too that time
Then we lost contact since then..

During f4,
We went for addmaths tuition together
Im still in love with that guy
But u no longer like the girl
You told me all your problems
And thats the time where we were getting closer and closer
And i told u one guy in our tuition centre is handsome
So as u.. u told me a girl is pretty
We keep on exchanging information about the handsome guy and the pretty girl XD

One day,
i told u that the guy that i used to love didnt reply my message anymore
And he doesnt like me anymore
He likes another girl
U keep on comforting me
Ask me dont be sad
And at that moment
U found out that the pretty girl is unavailable too
Both of us were sad that time..

We went to sarikei camp together
The jungle was very dark till we cant see a thing
I hold ur hand tightly because i was afraid
U sprained your ankle when u were walking with me
U took some food and searched for me when u knew that i havent took my dinner
I was the only chinese in your group
You protected me and took care of me whenever and wherever i go
Though i dont like u that time
But i can feel something
U were extraordinary caring towards me

One night
When i was cooking my supper in the middle of the night
U text me
And asked me whether u can be my bf or not
I rejected u..
Because i wana maintain this kinda relationship
I like u but i dont wana have a bf

But obviously,
Our relationship is more than just friends
And that created many troubles too
Friends started to quarrel with me
Started to think that i have neglected them
Started to think that im not the one i used to be
But im still me..
And i was really depressed that time

During f5,
Under depression
I started to beh song u
I still dont wana accept u that time
But on valentine's day
U gave me a rose
A pink rose
I took care of the rose very well
I really dont want it to die
When it finally dies
I felt very sad
Like i have lost something important
Thats the time when i realised that
I've been loving you
And i've been missing you so badly

I stayed up late
Just to make you a lil card
and telling you that
I accept you as my bf officially now
Thats 16th of february..
Our anniversary
When i accept u officially my dear

I put the card in your reference book
And asked u to read when you are home
You said u read in the car
And u smiled alone
That makes me smiled sweetly too
I know that
You are the one that im looking for

Tho you are not sensitive at all
Tho you always make me angry
Tho you spend most of your time with games
And tho people dont look up on our relationship
But here we are
This is our 3rd year now honey
We are still as stable as tembok china
heehee

I just wana say that
You are my best bf ever..
I love you honey..
<3
Happy 3rd anniversary!

exhibition day~

2009-12-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

Going to sem2 soon.. cant imagine how time flies.. and i got 3.8 for my final exam.. praise to Lord..cheers* hee.. we had our human model exhibition last 2 weeks..we did GIT system..

These are the progressions of our master piece..

From this..

To this

To this.. masuk keranda.. hee

To this!! tadaaa*

next task is.. we must explain the GIT system to everyone that visits our model.. i was the one who explains to them.. its GIT system afterall.. kacang la.. hehe

Bla bla bla

Discussing~

Tegur by tutor.. hmmk!

cheers~

At the end of the day, tutor called us group by group to review our result for this exhibition.. thank god.. our hard work is paid off.. we got the highest mark in the whole class.. wheee

Jia you in sem2 oh everyone.. hee

Honey

2009-12-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

I love you..
That's why i care...

speechless!

2009-12-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

Nothing special today.. i just felt terrible.. a 68 years old ah ma go to the hospital alone, with rm300 cash squeezed in an old small packet, no handphone, no cards.. she was going to do operation for her eye.. after the operation, she asked me to bring her to the counter to call her relatives to fetch her home.. she was so excited to go back, i guess.. she keeps telling me that she can eat at home because she had prepared lunch at home before she go to hospital. so i pushed her to the counter using a wheelchair because she cant really see.. she spoke in cantonese but i still understand what she said..she said.."halo, xxx ah? im done! come and fetch me now ok or not? " with a big wide smile on her face.. but she suddenly became silent and keeps on negotiating with her family members and i can see her face with big wide smile turned to sad face in a while.. then she turned to me and said she will use taxi to go back by herself.. i was like.. What the! where are your relatives?? she said all of them are so busy so cant fetch her..so she will use taxi to go back alone.. my goodness..

I begged her to stay for a while first and wait for the relatives.. i really dont want her to go back alone.. so dangerous..she still felt a bit drowsy and blur amd her eye is still paining.. no way no way! luckily she stayed at last..i helped her to put on her blanket and pujuk her to rest before i go home..

haih..though they are busy but at least ask her to stay and fetch later ba.. why wana tell her that they cannot go and ask her to go back herself?? thats so cruel! people nowadays... speechless..

bullshit!

2009-12-18T08:59:00.000-08:00

I didnt chat wid him today.. the whole day.. he was too busy to chat with me yesterday.. because of your assignments?? if so.. y u still have time to read people's blog ?? its alasan alasan alasan for me.. when i asked you to focus on me and chat with me then u said u have assignments to do.. damn~ i felt down the whole night.. i have soo many things to tell and share with you.. but u x even bother.. you said u are not chatting with girl so what am i angry for? and u said at least u replied me. better then x hiu me at all.. fine~ i dont have such energy to wait for u and waste my time waiting for your replies..and ur replies were like repeat and rewind only.. cant u feel how i feel?? u think i just simply want u to reply kah? you think i will feel happy by just reading you oic, haha, and ur damn short replies?? u even say u dun even know what am i talking about.. so for u im talking craps all the way la? u can read people's blog and smiling alone without thinking of my damn feeling... then who am i to walk around the shopping mall to search for a lil christmas present for u? maybe u think that this is ridiculous but you cant imagine how hurt i am....

Sunday

2009-12-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

Today is sunday.. i woke up early because i just sent my sis to bus station.. yea right.. she overnight at my unit and we went out to sunway pyramid yesterday.. it was really fun walking,chatting around and buying christmas presents with her.. really.. and we captured many pics too.. and we even squeeze in my very small single bed.. then when she was going to sleep and i was surfing the net, she suddenly turned to me with her red eyes and nose.. O.O she was crying! im really shocked and i asked her wad happened but she didnt tell me.. i guess.. she felt reluctant to leave me la.. hee but at last both of us went out to my living room to sleep because im afraid i will fall from my double decker bed..hee.. we slept on the sofa and yea..had sweetdreams.. hee!

im gonna miss u my lil baby aying..

Thursday

2009-12-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

today is another tough day.. i realized that there are blisters on my toes.. simply because i walk too much.. and stand too long.. so "gao wuek" :(

erm today is the last 2 days im in Pantai Hospital Ampang.. i love the staffs there.. doctors too.. they are very nice and approachable.. today the young physiologist called me eh..hee.. yesterday he asked me what is my name den when i told him he said my name just like medicine.. =,= heartbreak! Then today he saw me again and he called me bernadine.. ^^ so friendly.. hee..

I sent a patient to doctor's clinic today..when i was going back to my ward the doctor asked me to go into his clinic too..to observe the procedure.. the patient is an 60+ years old old cute man.. i sayang him very much... he is involved in road accident and injured his face and both his hand and leg.. so there are blood clots in his nose.. doctor inserted nasal scope into his nose to check on the clots.. ewww! this is the first time i saw such thing man.. i can see the clots.. just like jelly.. then inside the nose, nothing but wall.. heehee..then he used a suction to suck out the clots.. awwww... the clot is like leech too.. long and sticky.. i really cant stand it.. i felt sorry for the old uncle.. After that the doctor inserted the nasal scope deeper and deeper and oh man.. i pinched my friend's hand and she pinched my leg ah.. hee* so disgusting.. then the ah pek keep on sneezing.. T.T After the doctor has sucked out the clots in his nose, i brought him back to his room.. i asked him whether its painful onot..he said a lil bit painful but very uncomfortable.. but after the procedure he felt very comfortable cz his nose is clean and clear now.. hee.. such a cute ah pek..

I love to talk to the oldies very very much.. i just dunno why.. they make me feel like wana sayang them ah.. hee.. there was a patient, an old ah ma.. she gave me money and asked me to buy food for myself to eat eh.. XD and she gave me apple and biscuits to eat too.. and give me money and ask me to keep.. walau.. tips meh? hehe..but of cz i didnt take la.. didnt take at all at all at all.. last last time at lion nursing home one ah ma even wana give me her harta ah.. XD if i am a bad girl, eng eng...syyrrppp...i will hisap all their money! hiahia! thank god im not ^^

Few more weeks to go.. jia you! ^^

Im sad again

2009-12-02T05:53:00.000-08:00

For all the times you stayed up,
When my tummy was upset
And all the nights you made up
Stories, because i wasnt sleep yet
For all the things you gave up
To make sure my needs were met

Mami
this little girl you raised up
Will never, ever your love forget..

Suddenly miss home very much.. getting tired with nasi goreng nasi goreng nasi goreng everyday.. i need good and healthy food.. i want delicious food.. mami's homemade food..

im getting tired too.. quarreled with someone.. not quarrel but just.. didnt contact anymore.. because of some stupid reason.. again.... i wana go home.. im tired.. The best place to be when you are sad is in mami's lap.. i miss home very much..

now everyone is in kuching now.. most of my friends.. i felt lonely.. they will balik kampung soon.. and during christmas.. what should i do and where should i go during christmas?? i dunno... i miss the time when we sang christmas song together with popo and the rest last year.. i miss the time when i watched fireworks with family at The Spring last year during christmas.. i miss the time when dadi hugged me and say i love u on new year when we countdown together at airport.. miss miss miss miss... :(

im seriously praying that i can have my annual leave on cny so that i can go back and celebrate in kch.. people keep asking me when am i going back.. saying that im going back during cny is just comforting myself.. im not sure.. really unsure.. popo called me and said if i didnt go back during cny she will cry.. owh come on... :(

I love and miss everyone very much now.. seriously... T_T

haih

2009-11-29T00:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the second time i saw doctor do dressing for brain cancer uncle..He called me and my friend to go with him and help him so we just went in with him.. without knowing what procedure he is going to do.. when i enter the uncle's room, i saw staff nurses had prepared many equipments and waiting 4 doctor already.. when i see the equipments, i was like.. gosh.. what is he gonna do?? cz there were lots and lots of equipments like forceps, blade, scissors and many more..i was kinda scared.. and felt sorry for the uncle neh.. TT

So the doctor just instruct us to support the uncle's shoulder and hip.. at first he injected dunno wad into his big big big pressure ulcer wound.. the uncle keep on struggling..T_T the only thing i can do is sayang his hand.. i dunno wad can i do for him.. he is very kesian.. and i asked him to tahan for a while.. he can listen to me.. he answered "okayyy"..with deep and low voice.. awww i was going to cry man.. i never knew that he can talk.. then doctor started to cut his dead skin using forceps and blade.. the uncle just lay quietly for him to cut..i was wondering what is he thinking.. sure he felt very painful but he cannot do anything.. =(

i'll pray for u uncle.. dont worry u will be ok.. :(

posting~

2009-11-26T22:36:00.000-08:00

After 2 weeks of posting in hospital, i get to learn many things.. iv learnt that.. life is sooo fragile.. there are many cases that ive never expected in my entire life before.. we always read in newspaper that road accidents or perompakan happened everywhere.. and we never treat it seriously.. just treat those news as lame and boring.. but once u see the real patient.. u will think that this isnt small case.. haih..

i have one patient suffering from brain cancer.. its the final stage already and he is 50 years old only.. thats cruel... he just stay on the bed and cant move at all till he developed stage 4 pressure sore..the wound is very very big n deep til i can see the sacrum with my own eyes.. TT and his trochanter area also develop stage 3 pressure sore.. gosh... when doctor helped him do dressing, he uses the blade to cut the dead skin.. its so.... :( its soo painful till the semi conscious uncle shouted out loud ah.. haih heart break... and fyi.. pressure sore is something horrible horrible horrible..i wana vomit once i see it.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedsore
click if u wana know more or curious or *have the guts to see*..

And ya..a 21 years old lady has tumour in her brain too.. my goodness can u imagine? thats the time when we are heading towards our future and capture our dreams.. and thats the time when we enjoy our life too.. heard from my friend that she is bald and without eyebrow lo.. soo cruel huh.. T.T

Then there is one patient.. road accident.. omg i can see his tendon when doctor was doing dressing for him.. his skin is teared and half of it is gone.. i repeat.. GONE... like there is one big hole there.. the blood keep flowing and i thought im ok with it.. i just stand there and look at it.. but after a long time, i feel like vomiting and became pitam.. i can see bright light and i felt very hot.. so i quickly go out of the room.. so as my friend.. i think its because of the smell..makes us very uncomfortable.. then the second time i can see that his wound is healing..*of cz..this time i can tahan till the end lo hee* doctor told me that it takes about one month for the mitosis process.. heehee..after that the patient will undergo an operation which is to tampal skin from his other parts of body to his leg.. which will take a long long time too.. haih.. i wonder.. how about the fee ho? T.T

And a past footballer is paralyze..i heard from staff nurse that its something to do with his spinal cord..its so sudden for him and he keeps blaming the god and asking why the God wana curse him like this.. he is very depressed too.. and i saw doctor insert catheter into his penis.. gosh! can u imagine? insert a tube into a small hole.. aih aih.. apa nak jadi ni...

when i choose nursing everyone will be telling me that being a nurse needs to help people to clean faeces and urine.. yeah thats true.. i cleaned it and helped them to put pampers almost everyday.. diff kinds of faeces.. watery, hard, blackish, greenish, yellowish.. diff odours too.. but thats not the end of the world la hehe.. i still can tahan.. dont forget there is something called mask ma.. and something called gloves.. and theres something called double protection.. we wore 2 masks, 2 gloves and apron when we wana do this procedure.. so exaggerate and funny ah..as if we are attending H1N1 patient...hee but its for our own good ma.. who cares.. Xp

in short, so far i still love nursing and i believe it will increase more and more as time goes by.. its soo challenging as u will never know who and what kinda patients and injuries you will be facing everyday..they said we will know whether we really love nursing onot when we are in sem 3.. waiting for that time to come then! oh ya im going to sem 2 lo.. *cheers* hee

after a long long time... ^^

2009-10-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Its me again!hee..
I went to church with my sis on last sunday and she actually prayed for me that i will control myself from sitting in front of my lappy too long and neglected my studies.. she told God i bought p1 wimax eh.. cool~ hee dont worry i will control myself la..cz exam is coming soon.. my final exam.. aih time flies.. in just a nick of time summative exam is near and i haven't started my revision yet.. let me see.. gosh 25 more days to go.. aarh~

oh well i went to indah water, which is a sewerage company.. a company for sewerage treatment.. the weather was sooooooo damn hot ah... T.T we keep on sweating like hell and need to smell bau tahi and bau longkang again.. but its more to bau longkang la.. i cant really smell tahi.. XD

The funny thing is.. many villagers menceroboh that place and treat it as recreation centre.. the penasihat showed us many pics and they really brought many things for picnic at that place.. zzz not smelly kah?? just because there's a big pond there doesnt mean its recreation centre la... waliu..inside the pond is full of shit man... some even went there for fishing.. and kids gather there to find cacing..@_@ and play around.. but unfortunately.. there are a lot of cases where they fell into the pond and died.. because the sludge just like quicksand and pull them inside.. He said when they fell down into the pond, they will start to shout TAHI TAHI!! then start to dance shuffle inside and he really danced in front of us..
*p/s he is quite old...* heehee i really laugh till very long ah! soo funny kia..hihik! it was quite fun when compared to sitting in class whole day la..At least we have the chance to visit and expose to HUGE amount of shit ma.. XD i enjoyed it..^^

We start to study Malaysian studies or PA lo.. T.T sooooo boring ah.. but the good thing is.. out tutor always ask us to read by ourselves.. so i dont have to listen to him to read and read and read.... zzz he just tell us the stories and obviously..no one is listening...i just look at those who sleeps in class..and laugh with my friend.. hihik.. their sleeping patterns all same ah.. the heads slowly become lower and lower and lower.. then when the head really *doom* drop down.. they will start to look around and pretending that they are stil conscious.. lolx so naughty..

you may be wondering why am i not sleeping..its simply because i drink coffee everyday... T.T i dont wana get addicted! but i just cant help it.. if i didnt drink coffee.. the whole day i will be sleeping in class man.. especially during psychology.. HELP ME!plus tutor always like to ask me questions.. always benadryl benadryl.. owh i wana langgar dinding liao.. =X stress.. =(

today is tuesday and i cant wait to go to church with my sis again.. its soo good to see her there.. but i dunno why.. everytime when they asked us to pray for each other.. i will cry when i pray for my sis.. i can smile and laugh for the first minute.. then second minute i was crying already..i guess the holy spirit is all around us that makes me so emo eh.. hihik.. but honestly.. who wouldn't cry oh if her sis is leaving to america soon? whenever i prayed for her that she will take good care of herself and stay connected to everyone of us when she is in america.. my tears will start to drop already..who can accompany me to go to church by that time? who will talk to me and give me many many things when we meet? who will laugh with me and sing with me in church that time? =X i know the rest can do those things.. but i just feel comfortable only when im with her in the church.. haih..

i really gonna miss you ah ying.. tho i may seemed cold to u and always him u.. but i really was playing with u nia la.. i really feel glad to see u every week.. you are the only closest one with me in kl..hell no i will hate u la... haih.. =X

okie done.. i've vomited out everything liao.. hihik! comfortable.. will write more next time..goodnight!

To whom it may concerned

2009-09-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

hey.. don't bully my friend la.. u are very cheap u know.. do such stupid things..zzz

Terasa kah? if terasa then u will know im actually talking about u.. please behave well and be civilized a bit.. dont act like cave man that does everything without thinking of the consequences.. as you grow older you will feel ashamed of what you did now.. so please.. stop! zzz

TO DORIS!

2009-08-16T22:48:00.001-07:00

DORIS YII TIEN TIEN!

ah tian... why u x put my pic on ur big big pic? why u put u n loke chin nia!

i also wan!!

i also wan!!

hihik!

i miss ya my friends! muacks

blah~

2009-08-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

mami...

i hate to wash my clothes.....
i really dunno how to wash..
i spend half day "ku" in my toilet to wash my clothes u noe...
wash till backache..
now then i noe how izit feels like to do this everyday like wad u did always..

i also feel sick of the hairs on our floor...
the broom that we bought always stick to our hairs when we tried to sweep it...
the more we sweep, the more the hair on our floor..
so amount of hair is directly proportional to rate of sweeping..XD stupid..

like wad u said mami..
the hairs on our floor really can make a wig lo..
and the sand on the floor can plant a cactus.. T.T

and and and...
my kitchen suddenly gt mushroom man..
mushroom! gosh.... i x put fertilizer pun..
its just beside the basin..
i was thinking..
ok ok grow more! im gonna cook you
but after im back from college..
mati sudah!
easy come easy go.. hihik
the babies all mati also..
sangat kesian..
but can u imagine how cute izit?
whole bunch of mushroom squeeze at the corner of my kitchen wall..
hihik

okie thats all..
h1n1 is very serious nowadays..
my tutor everyday force us to eat vitamin c..
even sat and sun also need to eat..
hmm very good very good!
go away ahini!

take care oh my friends and family..
drink more water (i pandai cakap nia la..)
oh ya mami dadi i drink 1.5l of water everyday..
chun chun 1.5l..
hihik i will take good care of myself..dont worry! ^^

tha tha.. <<< who actually noe that tha tha is bahasa tamil?
hehehe

friends.. i pandai in bahasa tamil oh! next time cakap bahasa tamil with u ppl

mami dadi aying afui popo and my friends..
nan unei kadelikirain!

heeee

bye!

hantu again...

2009-07-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

Ghost ghost ghost.. everywhere! my hostel is haunted! T.T
what should i do...haih

so far theres nth happened in my unit.. the rest, same floor as mine even saw them.. pass by the window... we can hear ppl talk abt this topic anytime anywhere..
let me hao lian my bm.. ahem!

mutakhir ini,isu mengenai hantu di hostel saya semakin hangat diperkatakan dan tidak pernah lekang dari bibir penghuni hostel ini.. bak bata pepatah, tak tumbuh tak melata, tak sungguh orang tak kata.. yea that's right! =p

today i heard my classmates said last night our malay fren, counted as my neighbour screamed til sooo loud..some kinda like hysteria..then pengsan..we stay in 11th floor..even 1st floor also can listen le.. i wonder why i dunno anything..my roommates also dunno too.. they said me and my roommates like out-dated.. dunno anything since they stay beside us only and there were a lot alot of things happened already..we stil everyday hehe haha duno anything.. but i choose nt to know much about it.. im scared!

i dont dare to take bath.. when i wana pang jio.. i ask my roommate to sit outside my toilet and i dun wana close my door.. hihik when i wana wash my clothes, i ask her to stand outside too..heehee! but she is more berani so i dont have to do such things like waiting for her outside.. hihik

i will stay strong la! like i mentioned last time.. i have a friend that can see dirty things right? she said our unit very clean.. so we dont have to worry.. but la..last night she saw that thing walking outside our unit.. so my roommate put the buddhist azimat on our door.. dont wana let her come in! hee.. please.... dont come in... T.T

my christian fellowship senior told me one thing.. jesus is bigger in my heart than that thingy..so i dont have to be afraid of it! yea.. i hope i can find peace here.. i dun wana stay 4 3 years dalam keadaan yang very huru hara.. like my friends.. they cried almost everyday.. very kesian le... haih

God.. must bless me and my unit oh! i dont wana see that thingy! ask her to leave us alone ya! hee.. thats all.. paipai!

3rd week!

2009-07-18T05:10:00.000-07:00

wheee.. andrew kuek 18 years old lu! heee.. friends.. remember ya! exactly 1 month from now is my birthday liao.. heee.. anyway! andrew... happy birthday! stay handsome oh! heee..

actually i wnated to go out with kz them today.. to sunway pyramid.. but again.. due to some problems.. i cant make it again.. haih so disappointed.. so i change my destination lo.. to summit complex.. my college is inside that complex anyway..so basically i went there everyday.. hihik sien..

ok guess what.. i used backdoor to enter the complex.. then i saw a lot of ppl standing near the door and taking pics.. i was wondering whats wrong with them.. then when i turn to the back.. okay.. the " zhang dong liang" is behind me.. tho im not a fan of him.. but seeing an artist standing behind me feels great la! heee.. then my fren used my phone to take his pic lo..

paiseh to say that.. fans here very very cold ah.. lol they very tenang d when they saw him.. kesian sangat le.. hehehe whatever la..

i really ate a lot among my friends.. believe me friends.. and im always the fastest one to menghabiskan my food.. i always add on rice ah so normally i ate two plates of rice.. dunno my appetite become very good ki or the rice memang very lil nia.. then i start to realize dat my lil tummy became a bit big ki le.. heeee.. then i pa pa and spent my evening by swimming for 1 hour.. nyahaha! skinny kia wil grow fat also d oh.. haih

heee me and my sama type friend.. she is as skinny as me! ^^

mami dadi ah.. i spent a lot oh this week.. spending rm100 in a week normal ma? oops.. hihik! i x use the money to shop and buy clothes la.. i bought household items.. preparing to be housewife liao.. blek! hee..

another fun day..

2009-07-15T04:41:00.000-07:00

its me again! hee.. i went for injection this morning.. hepertitis B.. hee we woke up at 6am just to wait for the bus.. then around 10 something baru start to inject.. it was fun.. cz no need 2 go 2 class.. we sat there whole day and i slept on the sofa there.. very very tired.. T.T we took many pics while waiting for our turn.. we waited from 6am til 10am neh.. so sien..

neh my friends! heee

our injection still ok la.. i can tahan.. not so painful.. after injection.. no feeling le.. no sweat! hehehe..

makanan saya! hehehe

oh ya oh ya!! i saw beatrice seng!! soo happy to see kuching ppl here! touched ah.. then she told me sebastian is here too! waaa!!!a bit excited..nia.. hehehe!!

i wana pia game liao.. someone asked me 2 do so.. ish! hihik tha tha!

GHOST!

2009-07-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

im really scared now.. one of my friends is telling ghost story.. she said she has 3rd eyes.. she said her cousin gave her a doll when she was very young.. like the anak patung d eyes can flip d.. den she very nice with the doll.. everynight play with the doll and talk to the doll.. but because she was very young, she doesnt know that she actually really really talking and interacting to the doll!

she hugged the doll everynight to sleep d ma.. one night, her doll is gone and she woke up and find the doll.. but she cant find it.. then she continue to sleep.. but she felt that its not right.. she search it everywhere but cant find.. then she woke up and find again.. stil cant find.. then she beh tahan liao.. walk around and find.. den.. the doll is sitting in front of the cupboard.. u noe the doll when u lift her up, her eyes can open d ah.. then she x lift her up oh.. just hug kin her doll and make it lie on her thigh.. and continue to talk to her la.. suddenly the doll opened her eyes.. and smile to her.. yerrr!!!!!!!!! all of us " yeerrrrr" like hell ah.. hihik..

then she really siak dao and threw the doll away.. threw out of her room.. then the next day she wrapped it in plastic bad and put on top of the cupboard at other room.. then everynight she can hear the plastic bag sound.. yerr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then next morning the room very very messy and the doll jatuh keluar.. and one time when she opened her bag, she found the doll inside her bag.. lol soooo scaryyyyy!!

and many many many more! i lazy to tell liao.. wana pay attention to her talk.. hihik cya

Its me again!

2009-07-11T21:54:00.000-07:00

hihik! i can online again!

i went to sunway pyramid with my frens yesterday.. i asked andrew chai, kz and dex to go wid me too but they are busy with their works.. sigh* but nevermind la.. stil gt many chances..hihik

wahhhh..sunway lagoon.. the last time i went there is primary 4 neh! kesian! we wana go again next week if next week cant balik kampung.. =) hihik

the middle one is from pahang, same size as me! hee.. the other one is from melaka.. the way they talk ha.. weird dao.... hehehek

my roommate.. the rest busy le.. =p

the middle one is not my roommate.. she came to my room everynight to do assignment..
hihik

mami, see my master piece! hihik
assignment for anatomy and pysiology.. dats a carpal.. nice? =p

oh ya.. i dun wana upload the pics of my room first.. ful with bras and panties.. hiahia!! cz no place to sidai baju ah.. T.T next time ba! hee

in short.. im quite happy here... cz my friends and seniors all very nice.. the bad thing is our tutors very strict nia.. make us everyday very kintio to go to school.. but nvm la.. i know its for our own good.. i will take care d..hihik cya

wuhoo!

2009-07-08T05:53:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeee.. online at cyber cafe at m,y first floor..hihik! with my roommate.. we actually find tokoh kejururawatan.. but done already.. so waste money a while lo..hee.. once in a blue moon..

now im wondering,.. where is sebastian, irene? i saw that there was a bus from monash outside my condo everyday.. i wonder whether sebas stay here onot ho? hee

till now im quite satisfied la.. oh ya!!! pbsm friends.. do u still remember ur leader? she was president before sharon shen.. yea she is my senior.. so touched to see kuching or even gaporian here.. and got 2 of dem neh! hee.. can go back to kuching together lo..

anyway im goin back on 21th of sept or earlier.. prepare to meluangkan masa and go out with my kuching friends.. heehee!

gtg now.. bye for now! wait til i get my allowance liao den i wil come and on9 again! hee
miss ya my family and friends! bye

awwwww

2009-07-04T22:54:00.001-07:00

okie im going back to my hostel liao.. cannot on9 lo.. TT (mebe next week can la hee)
I WANA SAY I MISS MY DADI MAMI MY GRANDMA AFUI AYING
and my friends.. dun wana list all your names.. later missed out one jiu big problem lo.. hihik

Take care ya my dear friends and family.. Really.. must take care oh!
-hugs and kisses- by bi! hee

happy sunday

2009-07-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

Today is sunday.. last night slept with my sis.. quite comfortable and warm tho very very sempit.. both of us squeezed on a single bed.. and her floor is full of wires.. laptop chargers,phone chargers and etc etc.. i really scared the extension wire will boom! and terbakar ah.. hihik
Her junior is moving into their rooms.. so my sister and her roomate are tidying their rooms..

see this budak..

she is cleaning her ceiling fan..

malang tidak berbau..

the cover of the fan terjatuh.. so you can see the "ti tu si" all jatuh ke lantai, her bed, her laptop and everywhere..
and she just swept and mopped her floor nia..

so bopien lo do it again ba.. hihik!

2009-07-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

yes!! i can on9 lo!
i wana say many things ah!
first of all..

MAMI!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
sobs.. im not with you now.. so sad.. T.T
mami i wish u happy birthday and hope you healthy always..
dont always angry oh.. i will guai guai study d..
and i will jaga myself baik baik d.. dont worry ya..

I love you forever mami! hapy birthday!

today is the forth day since i entered my college..
the first day very nice.. quite excited and happy.. then i thought that staying away frm my mami dadi not dat bad le.. i thought i will be very happy..

But the second day when i woke up.. first thing that came across my mind was.. " mami cook what for me ho today?" but... no mami.. T.T i wana bath.. but soooo cold! i wan water heater! TT
Then when we walked to school.. only thing that came to my mind was.. no dadi to fetch me liao.. tears start to drop again..Then in the class i still can talk to my friends so im very ok.. but lecture wants us to write two essays.. one of the essays is.. KELUARGA SAYA.. haih.. so u noe lo.. my paper was very wet.. tears drop and drop and drop.. luckily no ppl realized it.. i need time to adapt without parents d feeling la... T.T

My third day very ok liao.. i didnt cry anymore.. i bought garment rack and shoes rack with my friend but we dunno how to fix it.. the garment rack drop down and the tiang knocked tiok my finger ah! straight away bengkak.. really painful ah but i tahan kin la.. till now my finger still cant move le.. kesian sangat..

Today many ppl balik kampung.. me too! i balik my sis's hostel in INTEC UITM.. she just back frm kuching so my mum tapao kolo mee and cakes and many things for me..im so touched so i cried again.. when i saw mami and dadi's pic in aying's cupboard.. i cried again.. when im typing this.. yea im crying..Hope i wont become buta ah.. >_<

k la.. forget about it.. show u my condominium..

from the window beside my bed.. hee

my friends..hee

Got problem now.. haih..gtg..cya

=)

2009-06-27T01:33:00.000-07:00

Wah! many ppl can be teacher lo! I also kena! kai yen also! kenny also!

Malaysia got hope lu!! we are bakal teachers yang cemerlang!

but im not.. i will be nurse cemerlang.. hihik!

If i accept the offer ah then i will fly to johor.. err kampus temenggung ibrahim.. with kenny.. same place same course.. bopien lo kenny.. looks like our jodoh sampai sini saja.. hehe!

All the best my friends! Wish ya all good luck!

Fui took his report card today.. her results very good.. but her flexi for bahasa cina 8 marks nia.. hihik 8!.. flexi konon.. useless d la haiya!

"kap kap kap"

When im looking at this pic.. feel like wana play super mario.. hehehe

YAY again!!

2009-06-25T21:17:00.001-07:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

My dearest sukying can be teacher lu!! Perak friends.. She's coming!!!

* deng deng deng deng * shark lai liao d sound.. hihik

Congratz my dear friend!

I noe you are happy.. im damn happy for you too! hee

Oh ya!! and shyh ning too!! hee congratz!
For those who x kena.. nvm la.. dont give up ya.. be tough and be happy! ^^

YAY!

2009-06-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

OH YA!

I AM GOING TO KL AGAIN!

YIPEEEEE!!

KL FRIENDS.. HERE I COME.. hihik

hihik

2009-06-25T06:57:00.000-07:00

heee.. i accidentally cut my nose ah!

*kesian face*
XD

Bye KL

2009-06-22T04:31:00.000-07:00

Today is a very moody day.. while i was studying, i received a message from my friend.. She said me and her..both of us only..are going to TERENGGANU instead of kl.. okay... Terengganu..haih.. My mum called the person in charged and she said Government last minute arrange us to study there.. LAST MINUTE???

haih... im ready to go to kl lo..y wana treat me like this le? T.T plus i dun have dear friends there.. suli, kz, ac, dex, mh! cant go out lo! cancelled everything.. how disapponting.. >_<

My card for beloved daddy!

2009-06-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

*Tadaa*

I hope my daddy wil remain as young as ever..

hee my father's day card for my daddy.. sweet ma? =)

our master pieces.. hee

Happy Father's Day papa!

I love u muchie muchie muchie! muacks

My sweetest memories ever!

2009-06-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

steal suli's nice pic.. hihik paiseh

Yong siang 'was' so handsome.. hihik

curi again.. =p

my sisters

waa..still young.. hihik

That's all..kiss ya with my sexy lips! muacks ^^

My day.. ( very long oh )

2009-06-16T06:24:00.000-07:00

Went for medical check up few days ago.. Then yesterday my mum received a call.. the hospital authority asked me to go back to hospital again.. to check my heart.. the reason is.. they forgot to check that day.. =,=

Uggh.. have to skip class and skip the maths test.. im quite happy actually.. hee.. then i went to school after the check up.. They said im very hardworking cz i stil wana go to school.. since im leaving soon.. why not? wana spend every single time with my friends ma.. =D and since im energetic and dont feel like wana sleep.. why not? hihik

Before i reached my class..honestly.. ah tian.. i heard your laughter.. i really heard it.. so loud.. =) thought they were having muet but in fact teacher was not there.. and my gosh.. they were actually talking and laughing at a girl.. come on la.. hehehe.. so funny =p straight away mixed with them and talk after iv reached the class.. *whee*

During bio.. teacher shared with us a very very lame joke.. =X its not funny... totally duno how to respond.. everyone just look at her with very blur face.. maybe it is funny.. but she talked til so slow and tersekat sekat.. then kenny suddenly turned back and asked us to look at a girl's face.. XD! thats wad you call.. funny.. =p kenny even laughed till he burried his head into his bag and whole body vibrate til..i thought i was experiencing earthquake that time.. come on la.. hee!

Oh ya.. he talked to me today..but im sorry.. i reli duno how to face you.. u made me felt disgusting and now i really dont wana see your face and listen to your voice.. can you leave me alone?! haih.. hate you ah! LEAVE ME ALONE LA sausage king... =,= stil dare to take out his phone to take pics again.. you know what is the meaning of malu ma? zzz

Back from school.. while i was eating.. mum received phone call from hospital again.. they urged mum to bring me to hospital.. thought my health got problem and kinda worried.. but when i reached there.. the nurse said doctor dont believe im underweight so ask me to weight again.. woah~ heee.. im really underweight la.. the doctor still laughed at me.. say kl gt tsunami.. so i cant go.. later fly away.. hit u ah!hee

overall im healthy.. thank god.. *whee* thats all.. ^^

Suli~ happy birthday

2009-06-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Happy belated birthday suli!! sorry for being late but no matter how i stil wish you with my sincere heart.. hee.. hope you dont mind..wish you all the best and study hard to be a successful doctor yea.. =p thats all my friend.. love ya! muacks~

How to save a life.. hihik

2009-06-12T10:52:00.001-07:00

Check danger.. no danger..
Hello! hello! are you okay?
No respond! HELP!! call ambulance!
Open airway ( head tilt chin lift)
Check airway..Airway clear
Check breathing.. 1,2,3,4,5
No breathing
2 blows!
Check signs of life
- movement
- vomiting
- coughing
- breathing

No signs of life
30 compressions! * crack*
2 blow
30 compressions
2 blows
30 compressions
2 blows
30 compressions
2 blows
30 compressions
2 blows
CHECK SIGNS OF LIFE
There's signs of life..

DONE!

hihik teach u CPR ah.. how pro..
Anyway im gonna sit for adults' first aid exam few hours later.. wish me luck oh! =p

Andrew chai..

2009-06-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks andrew chai!

Friends forever!^^

PICS PICS PICS! hee

2009-06-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

Today we went to a lot of places.. *whee* Our first destination was cinema.. we watched monster vs aliens.. lame dao.... not funny at all.. But andrew chai laughed dao..... waliu got that funny meh? (-_-') when we asked him why laugh til like that he said : the one behind me also laugh ba.. okay.. thats a seh kia.. malu boi? hihik i think the funniest part is the sot president plays crazy frog song nia.. THAT part only.. and the cutest thingy is that "butterfly?" hihik!! sooo cute!! neh neh this biggest creature.. hee!!

After that, we went to tun jugah.. our pics.. suli bi ah tian and chin chin

Why am i getting taller and taller and taller?? >.<

Then.. went to After 3 at padungan.. in mandarin is 三口饭.. the food really 三口饭 nia.. zzz..

Take pics pics with iandrew.. ^^

Handsome guy and a lil lil lil pretty girl nia la.. hee...

We sat there for about 2 hours.. talking and eating.. and ak taught me how to 弹 ppl.. to menentang perogol.. hee.. cute~ I guess i'll pinch the perogol if i really met one..choi...*touch wood* He said he very worried that i cant protect myself when i go study.. hawww how sad.. makes me wana cry ah T.T But this is the best way to make me grow up right? if not i forever seh kia in ur eyes ah.. okie? hee

Our next destination was errm duno whats the name.. padungan there.. but nothing special.. the only funny thing is mr perry ordered sky juice.. rm 0.20 nia.. thats all ..hee..

Then went to Gingerbread house.. Andrew chai is anak tauke bah.. he chia us ice cream.. Very nice.. But its a bit too sweet for me.. So i ordered sky juice again..hiahia.. But for ah tian and the rest is chun chun la.. I just dont like very sweet foods.. later sore throat.. hee But stil.. thank you very very much andrew chai.. You are soo nice.. hee

Behind us suddenly kebakaran ah.. kia lang..

After took that pic we cepat cepat run for our lifes and pulang lo.. hihik.. seriously.. im joking..

In short.. I really had alot of funs with my friends ah.... soo reluctant to leave.. =( Goodbye my dear friends.. ngeh..

My dad's ping pong.. hihik

2009-06-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

It has been a week since my dad went for operation.. just to cut this tiny lil naughty ping pong-liked thingy at his elbow..

hee..

Its harmless anyway.. he just felt "gao wuek" nia because its getting bigger.. And this thingy wil move d ah once u pushed it.. soft soft wan.. uhh touch liao my legs just like become lemah ki.. hihik so gilik..

After operation..^^

He always tell us its painful.. anak manja.. hihik shhh.. Yala of cz painful lo.. cz its near the elbow.. once u bend ur elbow.. the wound is like expand ki.. eww.. Ok ok i noe it hurts.. ^^

After 1 week..

I helped him to change his pad ah.. how brave.. ^^ Yeah this is his wound.. quite small nia la.. hee

My master piece! hihik

well as an old st john member.. its quite memalukan lo.. looks terrible ah.. hee

Thats all.. hehehe

Ah tian's "one night trip" at my house.. XD

2009-06-07T04:38:00.000-07:00

As usual.. Went out with ah tian andrew chai and perry again.. And as usual.. Eat walk and talk nia lo.. oh yea..Boulevard food court's table very smelly..its because of the cloth that they used to clean d table..hehehe.. dirty lil secret.. =p

Then due to some reasons.. ah tian cant go home..So she overnight at my house.. okay.. nightmare is the only thing i can say.. She is 100% pengacau la.. 3am liao stil dun wana sleep.. she said she cant sleep.. then i saw her spam andrew chai.. send 12 "hi" messages for him..den andrew chai always missed call her back.. zz..And the funny thing is.. She told me she wana set alarm.. ok i expect her to set 8 or 9am..But she set 1230pm..1230pm wake up.. walau..first time i heard 1230pm wake up also need to set alarm d..She said if she dont do so.. She wil sleep til 5pm.. Pig meh u?? hehe..

Then when i almost fell asleep, I heard very loud noise.. she played her phone's video.. Is her sis's wedding video.. stil got firecracker.. and seh kia shout.. my goodness.. Then i bersemangat again.. Look at her video and talk to her a while.. then tik tok tik tok.. tired again.. But she always kick me and touch me.. Aiyerr... Feel like wana hit her ah! XD

Then i buat keputusan not to hiu her liao.. She stil keep kaciau-ing me.. But i tahan kin.. Dont wana hiu her.. hihik..After a while she diam diam ki.. I guess she fell asleep liao la.. hihik.. noisy baby finally sleep liao.. ^^ Then i prayed a while.. then jiu o o liao lo.. hee..

Yea i woke up around 12pm today.. thanks to ah tian the pengacau.. ^^ I bathed and wake her up and prepare lunch for us..guai le.. hee but she needs to go home already.. Her mum was on the way liao.. so.. eat alone lo.. Fun moment with her anyway.. hee..

That's all.. =P

Hapee ^^

2009-06-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

Im feeling goood tonight..^^ The power of love.. hihik..

Anyway.. I met one sakai today.. I mentioned about Bermuda Triangle with him..Then he asked me whats dat..thats malay punya ha? lol guess he thought that its a malay movie..ber-muda... hihik! soo funny la you yong siang! oops paiseh mentioned your name ki..XD

And I went out with ah tian and andrew chai today.. and ah tian's ns friend, mavis.. then we eat and talk and laugh nia.. Then after that, my parents fetched me and andrew chai back but since the night is stil young, my mami brought us to eat..Then.. *climax* hihik.. i drove andrew chai back..but maybe too kintio la.. i duno how to reverse ki..cincai lai.. and reversed till "to peng".. >_< i stil can see andrew chai laughing behind me ah.. well nevermind.. at least he is still alive now.. phew kintio..hihik

Okie thats all.. Goodnite honey and everyone!^^

Hatred...

2009-05-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

Recently i hate you so much..
From that day onwards..
From that particular incident..
You are no longer the one that you used to be in my heart..
I thought you are friendly and nice all these times..
And i like it..
But now, no matter you are really friendly or not..
It doesn't matter to me anymore..
Because i will still see it in different perspective
Maybe i can try not to hate you
But your image has already polluted in my mind..
If you dont want me to hate you more..
Just.. stay away from me... >.<

For those who doesn't know what im talking about.. juz ignore it.. AND.. forgive me for hatting people..

Bye puan che som!

2009-05-30T21:29:00.000-07:00

Puan che som a.k.a cherry blossom a.k.a 车神 left us already.. She is goin to west Malaysia i guess.. F.Y.I She's my moral teacher, not pendidikan islam teacher.. =,= i have never expected that malay teacher can teach moral..

Imbas kembali.. She was my form teacher too during f3.. That time she was stil new and kinda always tersesat jalan in our school..So one day (first day i guess) she asked us where is teacher's toilet.. Guess what.. The bad sukying told her our toilet is at canteen der.. She said the koperasi is our toilet.. Of course she doesnt know that that is koperasi.. And she really went there.. XD!

And sukying even membangkit isu sensitif with her and kinda like quarrelled with her.. she asked her why our hospitals most of the nurses are malays and less chinese? and said tidak adil cz malays have more privilages and bla bla bla.. Can u imagine she talked like this to a malay teacher? bad bad ah you suky! hee

Ok thats all.. bak kata pepatah, 一日为师，终生为傅！Tho u taught me for a year nia but stil wana say :Take care and all the best teacher..hihik

2009-05-28T05:09:00.000-07:00

Ken u looked hiao and funny XD

Huana is leaving..T.T

2009-05-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

Minghuann the Huana..

Take care of yourself oh..

Thanks for your sdo,

Thanks for being our driver for few months,

Thanks for spending your time with us during holidays,

Thanks for sharing your things and problems with me,

THANKS A LOT..

All the best in your studies.. And be careful too! ^^

Got time play sdo with me again ya..

That's all.. Selamat Jalan..T.T

*everyone is leaving..apu... nak lemu.. hihik*

Just for you ~

2009-05-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Be Happy My friend..
Everything is gonna be ok..

Sot friends

2009-05-22T06:15:00.001-07:00

Today after president soeharto left our class, i took out my phone just to check my message.. But like what eho said.. they can smell camera from far.. (they) refers to you know who you are ^^ and start to get excited and pose like gila....

照我！照我！

子玲.... !

快点!

照我假假做功课！=,=

ok thats ok with me.. nevermind..BUT la..after that we need to go to computer lab..everyone is busy keeping their bags.. and kenny stil ask me to take his picture..and my table is full of my books..ok lo.. capture lo..

When im done....

Everybody already finish keeping their things and leave the class liao..
ZZZ! Im alone to keep my things and switch off the fan..
But Kenny did wait for me for few minutes la..

Still..So guo fen neh!

Geramnya......

But its nothing la.. just write for fun..As remembrance sake ma..hee so that i will remember detik detik kita yang penuh dengan kegembiraan, kemarahan dan kesedihan..agree?hee!

Crazy sweet sweet

2009-05-21T05:53:00.001-07:00

Oh ya..

Ah tian!!

Dont draw my table and papers pleaseee..

And dont make my papers mian mian pleaseee..

AND! keep your dirty shoes away from me pleaseee...

And!! Dont kaciau me with your hair la.. It makes me no appetite ah!

Thats all ^^ Guai Guai listen ya! heee

=,=

2009-05-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

Im really surprised...
Of your damn kuan..
Maybe you used to be like that..
Just that i never notice about it nia..

Dont ask me who am i talking about..
If one day u realised that my attitude changes towards you
Then you should accept the fact that
Im actually talking about you..
HAIHH...

Im getting tired already..
God.. help me please.. T.T!

What to do? haih

2009-05-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

Form 6 is getting sien.. i dont like chemistry.. i dont like PA (but our president soeharto is quite funny) but i still dont like.. i wan to go out with friends.. i wan to online till my butt sit tiok lemon..i wan to watch tv till my eyes like panda..i enjoy the feeling of rampas computer with mami..i wan i wan.. wuwuwu..

During holiday.. my eyes were as big as the earth all the time..very very energetic.. but now..aduh..always feel sleepy and no appetite.. first day of school i already get sick lo.. flu + cough.. used 10+ packets of tissue already.. kolian tian n suky.. they sure very gilik of me.. hihik.. mebe i too long didnt exposed to sunlight and hot wheather.. thats why.. hee

But..whenever im in class..i can feel my friends' kemesraan.. feel so warm to be with them and talk to them.. whenever teachers are not around..friends started to pull their chairs and move or turn to my seat (coz im the midpoint between my frens hihik)..and talk like crazy..O_O I noe f6 students shouldn't behave like this.. but i guess its not the matter of F6..its the matter of us.. i wonder why students from out batch always not serious, we really different when compared to students from last batch..they ARE very serious and hardworking..even my elder sis too! but of cz..students like baozhi,suli and shyh ning and anthony and even perry still very serious la.. the talkative one are ah tian sukying chinchin and kenny and me nia..heee.. we wil look abnormal if we dont talk..wuwuwu we really so kepo meh? aih!

Dear friends.. sometimes we really need to keep our mouths shut.. if not our malay friends sure will complain to teachers d.. see how serious they are.. Busy with their homeworks all the time..But i guess that day will never come d la.. (unless we become mute..) right kenny? (he's pro talker) hahak! so.. sabar and paiseh ya? we will try to control d.. minta maaf!^^

Nah Kenny Momo~

2009-05-18T03:31:00.000-07:00

Hehehe.. im wondering.. why kenny wana call himself kenny momo ho? izit because of your kelimomo kenny?hahak jk la..

Kenny and Bi

Kenny ah.. wana tell you something:

1. thanks for sharing Christianity things with me.. appreciate it

2. thanks for walking with me to school and from school everyday.. appreciate it

3. thanks for being my friend..for God's sake.. this is the 7th year already kenny

4. thanks for arguing with me for almost everything.. at least my life wont get bored easily ^^

5. thanks for supporting my dad for these 7 years hiahia

6. tho i wil get angry for what you have done.. but these lil things wont affect our friendship

7. i appreciate you.. the prove is.. i wrote a letter to you and apologize for one incident.. but in fact its not my fault.. just dun wana make things became worse.. hope you still keeping the letter oh! hee

8.Lastly.. Dont forget you owe me:
Dont mungkir janji oh! ^^

Teachers' Day 2009

2009-05-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

Im very high and excited today.. because today is teachers' day.. Its an unusual day for us - noob students because today we dont have to study at all.. All we did was talking in class and spending half day in dewan just to enjoy students' performances.. They were indeed quite interesting.. Especially the "cha cha" performance..But all of us only focus on the pro latin dancer nia..the rest were like uhh.. duno.. mon**t? -_-' they followed her steps til soo cham and one of them stil forgot the steps ah.. i mean.. what for you ask a very very pro dancer to dance with 3 not-so-pro dancers le since it wil make them look funny nia.. chek ark nye... hihik but thats the time i get excited cz its farnieee..

Oh ya.. and hip hop performance too.. by pandu puteri..okay let u imagine.. *giggle*
The rest ok ok la.. very interesting.. at least it entertains me..
And the one who drops the 'stick?' during BB performance.. Its ok.. You are doing great too.. hee.. Very cool~

Then we went back to our class and talk lo.. and of coz..take pics too! hee

Tian and karen

Double Chin and Bi

Bi and Perry

Lastly.. me and pek!

Hee can u see my excited face when im taking pics with two shuai ke-s? hihik
of cz.. the most handsome one is not here la... heee =') *tak geli pun*

okie that's all~

Mishh

2009-05-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Today is 16 of May.. so we have been together for 1 year and 3 months already (honey)..Waoh thats cool~ I wana tell you that:

Sometimes,
my eyes get jealous of my heart..
Do you know why?
Its simply because you are always remain close to my heart
and far from my eyes..

Its soo hard for me to see you again
You must take good care of yourself oh!
Dont just gaming whole day..
Drink water
Eat more
and sleep earlier
hihik

And i told u keyboard got radiation right?
Play less game
See your finger hurts already..
See....1 word.. PADAN MUKA! =p

And think of me more oh
since you have nothing to do besides gaming
If not your brain really wil berkarat..
Its for your own good..ngehehehe

(Hani)..We really need to bertahan ya?
Seeing many couples break already...
Lingy feels insecure again..
But u asked me not to be influenced by them
So i'll listen to ya ^^

You are no doubt a good good good bf
but of coz..not a perfect one la
But i still like who you are
Just.. dont treat me cold
and bad..
and dun lie to me..
i reli will heatbreak if u did that..
But till now.. you never lie to me right?
*sayang*
Im just an ordinary girl with simple needs
i can feel happy and satisfied easily..
what i want is knowing that you cared for me..
and have the initiative to find me..
thats all~

In short,
I mish ya so badly ( dear)..

*sobbie*

See the differences lolx

2009-05-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

Normal tiger.. cool?

Dont laugh man.. Its down syndrome tiger.. cute~ XD

Miserable :(

2009-05-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

Im nt happy today.. Many things happened recently till i cant stop thinking of it.. I reli dont know how to comfort him.. As his buddy.. I really have no idea how to tell him the truth and ask him not to think so much.. In fact.. the truth is.. We really got think of wana ask him out.. But who knows he knew the plan before they have the chance to tell him.. No matter how i explained, he stil felt disappointed.. I know.. being left out is cruel.. But since you are so nice to everyone.. You ever wondered why on earth got people wana leave you out? No right? Its you who thinks too much.. I really duno how to tell you how much i hate to see you like this.. I believe now you sure feel very disappointed.. I really can imagine how u feel now.. But.. things is not like wad u have heard and seen.. its the other way round.. Dont be so negative ok? I really feel like wana scold you but scolding you is like adding salts on your wound.. making you feel even more painful and hurt.. But if i didn't scold you.. can you wake yourself up and try to understand what im trying to tell u?

COOL DOWN! AND WAKE UP! YOU ARE MAKING ME SAD AND MISERABLE TOO...

Good luck~

2009-05-04T02:38:00.000-07:00

Im gonna have my driving test next week.. T.T Isnt it too fast for me? Without teacher.. feels insecure man.. I still remember how my teacher scolded me, bang the window and said im rubbish, no sense of direction, not independent and bla bla bla few weeks ago.. now.. he finally praised me and said im strong already, can be a good driver already..* touched~*

I wana pass.. To show him im reli not that bad.. And i dun wana disappoint him.. But stil lack of confidence le.. So, Wish bi luck oh~

Sad Day~

2009-05-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

My sis left us few hours ago.. back to KL to study.. haih so sad.. tho she came back for many many times already but i just cant stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks every time she says goodbye to us.. Actually its quite embarrassing for me to cry in front of crowds because maklumlah.. my face looks quite scary when im crying XD.. and iv grown up already.. PLUS.. my younger sis isn't crying at all..so you see.. malu or not? hee

We are very close to each other since baby.. hihik!

Anyway my house is very quiet now.. Without her.. feels a bit lonely tho i have younger sis.. Cant imagine what will my younger sis's life turn up to if im leaving too.. Lagi cant imagine what my parents' life will be without three of us.. awwww.. Sad..

Happy family~

My Revenge To You Ah Tien.. XD

2009-04-30T05:36:00.000-07:00

I knew her since primary 4.. My first impression towards her was.. uh~ why her voice so like that one? Make me always wana " akhem" ( clear my throat) hihik! And she's damn naughty during primary 4 zzz.. always kaciau people..Even now shes still like that.. Suddenly shout at people's ear.. But very very funny ah their reactions..
1. Jump up!
2. Look at ah tian
3. WOI!!!! Shen jing puo! ( gila )
4. Rub their ears..
hee.. Overall she's a very funny girl.. But she can be very serious oh! I ever saw her cried because her friend kaciau her.. If you wana know who is that fellow.. (Its you andrew chai.. lol ) This happened when both of them quarreled.. This is the third time i saw ah tian cried.. haih kesian.. But she smiled again 5 minutes later because yong siang sang the korean seh kia song for her.. And we be action king & queen and make her smile lo.. For your information.. according to yong siang, that song is the song from a korean drama," Full House " and sang by Rain.. uh i see... So if you see ah tien cries.. sing that song for her because she never failed to smile when she listened that.. hee!

And ah tien got alot of peminat oh.. Many boys chased her before so dont play play.. shes womanizer.. ahh~ Oh ya i forgot to say this.. ah tian is a pretty girl too.. Tho she always complains herself, but ah tian, u really pretty la.. Dont always hiam.. You know what is charisma? Yeah~ You got that.. Thats why many people wana chase you ma..

And she also can adopt with new surrounding easily.. She dares to talk to strangers, dares to make friends first and can create interesting topics.. She can eventually talk to my mum til my mum doesnt know my existence oh zz.. Yeah both of them always gossip about me..Bad bad =X I really cant do that so im quite admire and envy about her.. Wish i can be like that also.. Coz i really have nothing to talk to the one i dont know well =X

Oh ya! shes copy queen! she always dont wana do her homework and she wil copy from sebastian them early in the morning.. So all her works are quite perfect.. Teacher ah.. You are cheated by her liao la..hihik.. But at last she also scored very very good results in spm.. congrats ah tian.. You reli have done a good job^^

Ah tian can get very high easily.. Laugh til pespire man.. Soo funny! hee.. When she was laughing over "nothing" we were like.. what the.. hihik! But most of the time she did laughed on something la.. Such as my skirt ah tian zzz.. Thank God u saw it first if not i can commit suicide liao.. hee! Really fun to be with her.. No pressure, Not awkward even if we dont talk and I can talk about anything wid her.. hee.. Fun^^

Oh she is available now.. For some reason.. So if you are interested in her.. Please go for her hiahia.. Advertising her.. She is a sweet girl, nice girl, matured girl and she would like her future bf to care for her all the time.. Who wouldnt want it anyway lolx.. So if you think you are handsome, clever, matured and caring enough.. What are you waiting for.. Chase her now! heehee..

Uh this is tough ah tian.. I reli duno what to write about you coz your "kuan" almost the same as mine.. Thats why we can be really good friend right? Pro you can write so much about me.. hihik.. My feeling towards you (im not les) is more than words so i dont have to write so much la.. You know i really treat you as my buddy jiu ok liao.. hee

Thats all ah tian.. Ohya her name is ah tiEn but i like to use tiAn more coz i get used to it already.. She said ah tiAn is biasa and she doesnt like me to use that.. But sorry la hee.. I wan! So the rest of you remember oh.. She's Tien.. hee

Til here then.. Bye and all the best to you also ah tian.. Glad because can spend two years with you again.. Friends Forever!

Its my buddy again! XD

2009-04-28T22:20:00.000-07:00

This pretty and cute girl is Wendy lo.. hee.. Wendy is my friend since primary 4.. I transferred to sjk stampin since primary 4 and when i saw wendy i was like woah she's soo pretty! hee.. Wendy ah.. Must take care and dun always stay up late oh!Later become panda ah hihik..Manage your time well and all the best in ur future undertakings.. If u become a successful interior designer.. Dun forget me oh XD.. May God Bless You!

My buddies!

2009-04-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

Okay im 'menuruting' kehendak kawan saya untuk write about this.. To show my loves towards them.. Yeah im willing to do that as i LOVE to write essay..hihik

The two pretty girls in this pic are sukying and double chin.. For sure everyone including the blind one knows that sukying is my very best friend since form1.. * before form1 me n sukying were totally invisible towards each other.. no interaction at all in primary school* too bad~ Suk ying is my very matured friend.. Sometimes her seriousness wil make me go crazy because she will scold me whenever i did something wrong.. But the way she talks and insults people lagi make me go crazy.. She's just soooo funny! hehe.. Her sarcastic look + serious tone = funny joke.. hihik! And she's VERY generous too.. whenever she comes to my house to do homework or what.. She will angkat plastics of vegetables to my house.. Not only 1 or 2 plastic bags oh! its 3 or even 4 ah.. And the most important thing is she often walks from tabuan jaya market to my house.. See how ikhlas n tough she is.. Dats my friend lo! XD

Next wil be Nemo and Yong siang.. Both of them are the one who asked me to write this punya.. I dun know wana write nemo or yong siang first le.. scared they wil beh song.. Okay.. nemo, i know u r the matured type also.. you wont mind if i write yong siang first la ho? XD

Neh this is my handsome friend yong siang lo.. He is my closest guy friend because i can talk to him soo naturally without feeling awkward at all.. He wil sing the cute korean baby song to make me happy too if im not happy..XD Yeah memang tak dapat dinafikan bahawa he can sing reli reli reli well.. Pro till even if he's out of tone liao but u stil didnt realize it.. And he always give comments on me.. like my hair la my face la the way i dress myself la and many more.. *sien*
hihik.. Now he's gone.. To kedah.. Its like cuaca mendung bagi cuaca saya yang selama ini sangat cerah because he's my very very close friend and whenever im sad i surely wil think about him.. think the way he acts cute the way he sings and many more.. TT Im gonna miss you yong siang.. Friendly punya miss la dun misunderstand and dun get excited lol.. Dats all~

Hee this is ming how a.k.a nemo.. Nemo is my very very very good buddy neh! I wil share my problems with him all the time..He's just like my bro.. Never ngiao ji to share happiness with people..He may be rude towards teacher sometimes.. but that's the real nemo ma.. better then in front treat ppl good good, at the back nge nge gossip people.. Reli hate this kinda people..zzZ Dont see his eyes sepet sepet like very fierce and cool.. Actually he's reli a nice guy.. Very responsible and he's like sukying type oso.. sarcastic type.. hihik! waliu the way he insults ppl reli make u go zzz ah.. say someone's hair like kena bitten by dog.. zzZ mebe we should say nemo is creative type lo.. hehehe..like dat oso can think of..And his taste very high oso.. His things all branded branded n nice nice wan.. mebe we should also call him typical materialistic and individualistic teenager..XD Oh ya! Nemo's hobby is pinch people..Thats the way he greets people.. But when people pinches him, his hands wil oh cheh in 10 secs.. Try it if u dont believe XD And Nemo always worried that all of us wil be far apart one day and sooner or later become stranger ki.. Dont worry nemo..Have faith on us ma.. We wil be 'Finding Nemo' d if u leave us one day.. hihik.. Anyway he is studying liao so wish u all the best oh nemo.. Jia You^^

Thats all.. Three of them are my buddies.. The rest of you.. i write later ya.. promise^^

Hi..

2009-04-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

My Buddies!

Hi.. Hee well i create this because i got loads of things to share with my friends so that we wont lost contact as well as to let them know wads happening to me! hee.. Anyway the one who encourages me 2 create blog is miss doris yii tiEn tiEn because..hihik i can give comments easily ma.. Shes with me right now, teaching n giving ideas on wad to write in my blog because no inspiration man.. TT k then.. everyone have fun! =D

* sorry Andrew Chai if u realized ur gone from the pic.. I also duno why..You are one of my buddies for sure.. no worries!