Faster faster fasterrr!

Why did I choose nursing? Why didnt I choose to be a teacher? If I were a teacher, I wont have to reflect what have I done and what have I missed after every shift, I wont have to worry that much. This kind of life is hectic. Im constantly worried. If I were a teacher, of course I do feel stressful but I guess the stressor comes from student's bad results only eh? Or maybe heavy workload plus management problem (as far as I concern la) In my case, every single mistake can lead to super serious mistake and may harm patient. This is really stressful. Tho i tried hard to avoid mistakes, sometimes I can just make mistake unconsciously. Thank God almost all my mistakes were near-missed so I guess so far so good la. I keep asking myself what if this is not near missed? What if I didnt realize, or someone else didnt realize? Things will be way complicated. There was once I diluted a drug, it was a vasoconstrictor drug. I subconsciously took another drug sticker, which was a sedative and label on the vasoconstrictor drug. I guess God knocked my head and made me realized what have I done. What if I didnt realize until the end? People are just gonna give the drugs according to the label, no one will know what is the content of the drug, since every drug looks the same, colourless. Labeling the drug is important to identify what drug is it but it only applies if we label correctly. Right? Conclusion is, I cant wait to get out of hospital and live a carefree life. Or at least make me a senior who knows everything asap. Im tired of being a junior who always need to listen to the seniors. Some taught you well; some made you confused. At the end of the day if you follow this senior and did something wrong according to her way, you will be blamed. Happens to me all the time, whenever I get nagged by others for doing things wrongly my mind will be full of hatred and blaming the senior who taught me wrongly. How much I wanted to just tell the whole world IM JUST DOING WHAT I LEARNT! STOP BLAMING ME! but yeah, I can only do that if Im some VIP's daughter. True story. 4 and a half year to go. Time, please fly faster. :C