Friday, December 31, 2010

My long long post about New Year :p

Year 2008 - Countdown for Year 2009. 5 of us countdown at Boulevard Shopping Mall.. We watched dancing competition together while waiting for the clock to strike 12am.. 12am, we turned to each other and wished each other happily.. Papa hugged mami and 3 of us.. I really wished the time will stop right there.. I felt soo warm and sweet.. Its hard to find a family like this.. Dadi discussed with mami seriously about where to countdown, mami rushed us, commanded us to get dressed quickly so that we can go out earlier, dadi sanggup shop with us till 12am just to wait for the countdown, sanggup hold the camera whole day whole night to capture down all the sweet moments with all of us together.. Sanggup find carpark patiently although Boulevard was like China that time.. All of these are more than enough to prove that i have super duper extraordinary happy lovely family.. :)

Year 2009 - Countdown for Year 2010. I was having posting that time so i cant go back for christmas and new year.. How did i spend my new year in year 2009? :D Me and my friend cleaned our unit together since we have no place to go.. We just stayed in unit with one motto: New year, new unit! Must prepare ourselves and clean everything, throw all the unnecessary things.. Make our unit as presentable as possible.. New Year ma..:) hee.. We ordered good food too! Finally the clock struck 12am.. We climbed up the table, looked out of our window and we enjoyed looking at rich people burning their money to make the sky soo soo colourful..hee.. Thanks richie! who says we must go out to see fireworks? our 11th floor window can see whole subang including Sunway Pyramid le! :)

Year 2010 - Countdown for Year 2011. Fuhh finally~~ This year many people asked me out to countdown.. I rejected all because i don't feel like going out.. What is the meaning of Chinese New Year Countdown without my parents and my sisters? I feel that im soo old fashioned and narrow minded.. Everyone cant wait to finish class and prepare mentally physically to countdown, but me? i dont wana go anywhere.. I just want to stay in my unit like last year.. Plus, i dont like to go out till late night without my parents.. For sure that everyone starts to countdown 10 secs before 12am.. Dont tell me after u countdown u straight away go back? 5,4,3,2,1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ok, lets go back! @.@ Sure everyone will at least stay for another 1 or 2 hours, talk la, dance la, take picture la, go clubbing la,i dunno la you name it @.@.. This is against my college's rules and regulation because we are supposed to come back before 12am.. No No im soo not gonna break this kind of rules! Im a nerd right? :P But its for my own good too.. I think its very very dangerous to hang out till so late in KL.. in kuching ok la.. we even ate porridge in market at 1am.. Kuching, my hometown is peaceful.. Hey, stay here also not bad ba.. The malays are having karaoke in Mydin i guess.. The songs are soo rock and im soooo high!! =.= Kepalaku sudah mauk letup lahhhh~

No im not gonna stop here! hehe..
My new year resolutions!
1. Papa, you are at the top of my resolution list! Please! QUIT SMOKING! Mama, i want u to take good care of urself.. Stay healthy.. u know all of us cannot survive without u and papa.. :( PRAY MORE!

2. Get 4.0 in my exam! grrr~ i got 3.8, 3,7 and 3.8 in sem 1 sem 2 and sem 3 respectively.. sem4 i want 4.0! >_<

3. I want nobody, But u.. my bf~ :) New year new hope.. change to a better better person then i will love u even more! heehee.. We are entering our 3rd year.. can u believe it? HUGSSS~ :)I hope that we can continue to love each other, dont get influenced or "seduced" by other people.. :) and hope that we can trust each other even more, in times of difficulties :) And i want u to be sweeter! can? grrr!

4. I just dont have much initiative to contact my old friends.. In fact i didnt really contact anyone except my parents and bf.. thats all.. I hope that in this new year, i can find back all my old friends and let them know that i actually care about everyone.. just that im way too lazy to press my very very lagging and lousy phone.. and the battery will flat without even warning me! grrrrr~ maybe my new year resolution in list no 4 is to get a new hp ho? :P

5. My beloved ones that are very very far away from me : My forever gone popo, my sister who is in US, my friends who are in England and NZ and ect.. Let me dream of my popo and let me talk to popo in my dream please.. :( i want a real and sweet dream, not a weird dream like what i've dreamt that day.. popo.. i miss u :( Aying, please come back earlier because im missing u badly too.. Take good care of yourself alright?? :)

6. I hope that 2011 can pass by in a nick of time so that i can graduate and be a staff nurse very soon! I know being a staff nurse is very hard but stuck here also hard ya.. life must go on.. face challenges earlier, can balik kampung jaga parents and kao ing earlier also.. Faster faster! 2012 im waiting for u! :P

Dah dah my craps are long enough.. 30 minutes to New year so i wish everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR in advanced, and let the bygone, be the bygone.. Forgive but dont forget the past la because for those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.. Stated clearly in our sejarah text book.. XD Thats all~ TATA!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Cutee and happy dinner :D

Funny incident.. :P

Today we cooked too much rice for dinner.. its like almost 3 cups of beras for 5 people.. So when the rice is cooked, one of my friends, bannu scooped rice for us.. The rice kept on increasing and increasing on our plates and we were like: ha?? still got a lot meh?? she said yeah! still got a lot a lot! then she continue to scoop for us..

They started to laugh and scream and shout and throw rice to each other's plate and claimed that their rice is too much.. Then the one who gets more rice will shout NO NO MINE IS SOOOO MUCH ALREADY! GIVE XXXX!! That XXXX will shout NO NO NO! GIVE XX!! again..Can you imagine this chaotic situation? :D ( As a house leader, ahem ahem..Of course i didnt do anything.. i just sat there and said: eh, dont play with food la...) At last everyone threw their rice for me and my rice ended up like a hill.. The terrible thing was, we only cooked cabbage, cabbage soup, potato and 炸菜 (according to my friend) for dinner.. If u ask for a reason, they will say, we will gain weight if we eat too much but u dont.. so im always the one who ate the most everyday.. Hmmm but i feel rather happy and lucky.. at least my stomach is full everyday.. :)

I wasn't kidding right? :P I managed to finish it anyway.. burrppp~ hee

Sunday, December 19, 2010

基督教诗歌 一件礼物 :(

I thought time can heal everything.. But i was wrong..

Memories about popo are still very fresh in my mind.. Today we went to saberkas to reformat aying's lappy.. suddenly i saw sebastian, with a group of his church mates.. They were preparing to sing xmas songs on the stage.. We were very excited and we quickly find a seat to sit down.. They sang nicely.. i felt very warm and glad.. But there was one song which reminded me of popo.. its called 一件礼物.. This song is very familiar to me so i turned to ahui and asked her whether we heard this song before..she said yeap.. I turned away and continue to listen.. when they reached the chorus, images of us singing with popo and gugu in church came across my mind.. i cant get popo's face out off my mind..Tears started to roll in my eyes but i hold my tears so hard that i was so restless that time..i kept looking here and there, looked at my phone but i cant hold my tears anymore..I started to cry.. i dun want mama to get shocked to see my crying face so i turned to her and told her this song reminded me of popo..She cried in few seconds too..Due to my carefree attitude, or maybe because i still couldn't accept the truth? I almost forget that popo has passed away.. really.. :( I guess Christmas will never be the same for me anymore because i have lost someone very special in my life.. Someone whom i will think of the most when it comes to Christmas.. Please look after all of us from heaven k popo..:) i love u always.. :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


我长大时,也要像我爸爸妈妈一样,两个人去旅行,爸爸帮妈妈拍照,妈妈帮爸爸拍照。。两个人坐在凳子上,一起吹海风,看风景,还打电话给我,跟我炫耀。。 我真的很欣赏他们,他们真的很甜蜜,很幸福。。

这是爸爸帮妈妈拍得。。 看她笑得几开心。。 :)


我真的很向往这样的生活,有个那么好的老公,爸爸每次没事做就带妈妈出去玩,拿着相机,把妈妈当成模特儿,去orchid garden la, beach la, sunday market la, or even kopitiam..每天跟我妈妈抢电脑,两个人一起上网,一起顶嘴,一起笑,一起为了抢电脑而吵架。。 我们都叫他们老顽童,几岁了还这样。。有时我想到都想要哭,我真的很幸福。。 不过如果有一天,他们没有在了,怎么办呢?所以,我真的很怕他们不会好好照顾自己。。 我不敢想象没有他们的那一天。。

主,与我们同在吧。。 您是我唯一的希望了。。

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Meaningful quotes of prayer.. :)

- Dont pray for lighter burden, but stronger backs.

- To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.

- In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words, than words without a heart.

- Pray, and let God worry.

- Most people do not pray, they only beg.

- All prayers are answered if we are willing to admit that sometimes the answer is a 'no'.

- Most people pray as if God were a big aspirin pill, they come only when they hurt.

- Prayer should be the key of the morning and the lock of the night.

- If we do not love whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

My testimony!

I have a testimony to share!! :) I just had my final practical exam few days ago..

Most of my friends are afraid of theory exam but for me, practical exam is so much harder than theory.. We only have 5 minutes to do each procedure and we wont get to know what procedures are we going to do till we enter the station.. So basically we really dont have time to think at all.. Once we go in the station, we have to read the question quickly, and perform the procedure in front of tutor.. Sounds so scary right?

So before the exam, me and my friends prayed together.. I was very very nervous as i was the first group to enter the station.. My friend prayed to God to blind tutors' eyes if we make mistakes.. I felt so relieve after we prayed.

When i enter the station, i was kinda shocked to see the procedure was insertion of nasogastric tube.. But i felt rather happy because i've practiced this procedure over and over again and i even prayed to God that whatever procedure i have practiced will come out in the exam. So i did the procedure smoothly, and i was shivering all the way although i dont feel nervous anymore.. DAAMN this is so embarrassing! My tutor stared at me when i was doing the procedure.. And she smiled, looking at my shivering hands as though i have Parkinson's disease or hypoglycemia. I cant even insert syringe into the tube and i laughed at myself for being so funny. Sigh.. Anyway, i managed to finish my procedure before 5 minutes.. FYI, this is a procedure with many steps.. we have to measure the tube, insert tube, check whether the tube is in stomach or not by aspirating gastric juice and pumping air into stomach and auscultate with stethoscope.. Most of my friends could not make it and the thing that bothered me was, did i miss out any steps? why i still have extra time after i finished everything and my friends cannot even finish the checking part? @.@

Another difficult station was injection. Injection is a tough procedure and we can fail easily.. very easily.. Apart from the never ending checking, let me name it.. Check for 6R's: right patient, right medication, right dose, right route, right time, right documentation and 3 Checks: before preparing medication, after preparing medication and before serving medication, we must check all these for 3 times! if not, fail.. Let me continue.. Apart from the never ending checking, we have to prepare the syringe and needle, withdraw drugs, change needle, remove air bubbles, not to forget, CHECK AGAIN, measure the injection site, 90 degree injection, swab correctly and give health education. Another procedure with soo many steps that can make u fail with a small careless mistake.. Ok so i did everything smoothly because God hears my prayer.. This is another procedure that i focused and practiced for so many times. I shivered a lot a lot too.. This tutor is the same as the one before.. and she laughed at me again.. maybe i really have hypoglycemia? Why cant i do my procedures steadily and cool-ly? :o And once again, i managed to finish everything before 5minutes..

I dont really know how was my performance.. Like maybe u did a careless mistake in between, eg contaminated the needle and u didnt even know.. This is the challenging part of practical exam.. U can go out of the station happily and confidently, telling the whole world that u manage to finish the procedure in time, without knowing that you have contaminated the needle in between,without knowing that tutor has put down her pencil and stop observing your procedure anymore.. Or maybe u forgot to follow the 6R'S and 3C's principle.. I have a friend, she just went in and straight away informed patient that she wants to give injection, without checking the prescription and performing the 6r's and 3c's. Tutor straight away drew a line on her marking sheet and gave her 0.. Luckily she realized and asked permission to redo the procedure again.. If not can u imagine how hard for u to accept the truth that u get 0 just because u forgot to check from the beginning?

Here comes my testimony.. I just received my result yesterday.. Praise the Lord, out of 20, i got 17.5 for insertion of nasogastric tube and 19 for injection.. Man, i really dont know what have i done till i can get such good results.. I know i wont be able to do this by myself.. I know God has given me strength and helped me in my exam.. Without him, no matter how many times i've practiced, im just nothing.. So i just wana tell u, When u dont feel like want to pray, thats the time that u need to pray the most.. Be it happy, sad, angry, frustrating or depressed, just PRAY.. :) Believe in prayer, as it is the best way we have to draw strength from heaven..

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Our first self-cooked meal ^^

Papa mama, check this out! :p

This is the first meal that we cooked by ourselves officially.. actually we cooked by ourselves 2 days ago but we bought rice from kopitiam, and we ate canned food.. all we have to do was to heat up the food only.. and we cooked jagung soup too..canned sweet corn, with the help of bannu..So, we dont really consider that as our first self-cooked meal..

TODAY! we cooked rice by ourselves.. because only me and my friend in our unit so we did this without asking help from anyone.. hee.. washing the beras itself was a big challenge for me.. although i know this seems easy for me, but i still dont have the confidence yet.. :( and we also have huge trouble in figuring how much beras should we cook.. and how much water to cook the beras.. my friend suddenly came back so she taught us the technique to measure how much water should we put inside.. hee..

but but, can you see our master piece? as soft as mama your rice ah! :) looks nice, taste nice! :)

chiang chiang! this is our spinach soup, with 6 meatballs inside.. i fried garlic and anchovies first, then we threw the meatballs inside boiled water.. when the meatballs float up one by one, we threw the spinach in and followed by garlic and anchovies..

When my friend saw me eating anchovies and garlic in the soup, she told me she dont eat garlic in her mama's soup..and i answered her:

Usually I wont touch garlic and anchovies in the soup that my mama cooked.. but now im eating single thing inside, not because they taste nice; because i appreciate every single thing that i cooked..

-Quoted by bernadine- ^^
heehee.. :p

While waiting for the soup to be cooked, i, BERNADINE! use my own hands, to fry eggs! hee

But i dunno why.. my egg appeared to be soo much smaller than the egg that i fried for my friend.. hehe.. and i was having difficulty to turn over the egg.. i need more skill in that! :) but my friend praised me for the egg! hee.. how sweet and warm... :p

TADAAA! we finished everything! :)

Before and after.. :) erm 2 hours later i take picture of one more " final-after " pic la.. take pic of my chocolate cake.. hiak hiak! thats all~ :))

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Sweet bf i have!

I talked about 2012 with my friends.. They told me the evidences of the end of the world in 2012.. at first i didnt treat it seriously.. but when i sat down and think, i was like.. omg? then i cannot get married with him?? then i cant see him anymore?? noooooo!! i know i was like a freak that time but thats not important.. hehe

so i message him..

bi : hani hani.. world is going to end in 2012??

hani: Lingy, world wont end in 2012 la..huhu

bi : But what if it really happens?? then i cant see u anymore?? cant kao ing with u??T.T I DONT WANT! :(

hani: Wont ya lingy, even if 2012 happens, we still will be together in heaven... :)

bi : Then u must be good boy lo.. if not i will be in heaven and u will be in hell..hihik

hani: I memang a good boy ya, dont worry la lingy.. hee

AWWWW SOOO SWEEET~~~ I love u hani!! hee

Sunday, October 10, 2010


婆婆走了。。 虽然我的心很痛,但是我早就预料到了。。 九月回家时,我去婆婆家探望婆婆,和她说话。。 问她还好吗,她微微的笑了,说她很好。。 她说话很吃力,也很模糊,我听不清楚。。但是还是很努力去理解她要讲什么。。我强忍着眼泪不要哭。。 因为不想要让她觉的自己很可怜。。我摸摸她的手,她也紧紧地握住我的手,还看着我,和我微笑。。 要回来KL时,我含着眼泪,哭红了双眼,告诉过婆婆,叫她要等我,我十二月就回了。。我还想要和她一起庆祝圣诞节。。叫她要好好休养,不用担心,因为她有主陪伴。。有什么事就在心里祷告。。但是我自己心里很清楚,这一定是我最后一次看到婆婆了。。虽然我叫她要等我,但是我也不要她被折磨到那么久。。所以我把一切交给主,由主来安排。。

回想起小时候,每天都是婆婆带我去幼稚园。。在幼稚园被欺负,婆婆就帮我骂他。。因为婆婆,幼稚园里上上下下的人都很怕我,连校长也很疼我。。我真的感到很幸福。。幼稚园毕业时,我有表演'拔萝卜' 的歌。。 我扮演着一个老婆婆。。 还要带一个围巾,我告诉婆婆我很怕,也很害羞。。 她讲我傻,没有什么好害羞的。。最后我还是有表演。。

一,二,三年级也是婆婆带我去学校。。我和婆婆每个星期五都会迟去学校,然后婆婆就带我去走走。。 我们每次一起喝barley+lemon,她说喝这个很凉,不会热到。。她还会买东西给我带去学校吃。。在半路上我跟她讲我要大便,她便停车,然后我在水沟大便。。 被同学看到了,我还死不承认。。这个只是我和婆婆的小秘密,没有人知道的。。 三年级时,我在放学的时候被雨伞勾到,跌倒了。。 眼睛旁边被擦伤到很严重。。我很害怕被婆婆看到。。上车时总是遮掉,但是最后还是被婆婆看到了。。她还没问我我就哭了。。如果你看清楚一点,我的脸还有一点点疤痕。。让我永远难以忘记的疤痕。。我每晚也会帮婆婆盖被。。黄色的被。。 人家都说我拍马屁,那时还这么小。。哪里知道什么是拍马屁,我只知道这个是我的责任。。有时婆婆还会叫我和她一起睡,但是我很少跟她睡,因为这是我粘妈妈的最好的时候。。

四,五,六年级时,我转校了。。变成爸爸载我了。。 但是这并没有让我和婆婆变得疏远。。 婆婆每天回家时,我都会自动拿药给她吃,一粒一粒黄色白色的药。。但是我一点都不知道那些药是拿来医什么的。。下午有补习,婆婆每天都准时叫我醒,还准备午餐给我。。 有时真的很不想去补习,还哭了。。婆婆和阿盈还会笑我没有用。。有时读书回来不想睡午觉,婆婆还会骂我们。。 叫我们一定要睡,不然晚上就会很累,不能学书。。那时候真的觉得很烦很烦。。也很生气。。都不了解婆婆的苦心。。婆婆每天下午也会准备午餐给我们。。那时我真的很瘦,如果我没有吃,婆婆还会骂我,问我以为自己很肥了哈?那时的我就无话可说咯。。乖乖的听话了。。

上了中学,我和爸爸妈妈姐姐妹妹就搬出了。。没有和婆婆一起住了。。婆婆有时会叫我们跟她睡。。她说她很想我们。。因为妈妈忙着做工,所以没有人煮菜给我们。。 我们就每天回婆婆家吃。。婆婆和姑姑每天都把我们照顾得很好,煮好好给我们吃,婆婆家就变成了我们的托儿所。。婆婆还会给我们零用钱,叫我们要买东西吃,她说吃得不能省。。 她还很担心,说我越来越瘦。。怕我没有吃。。有时候因为考书,我们都不想回婆婆家,因为要在家静静的学书,婆婆和叔叔就会带食物来我们家,叫我们一定要吃。。不知道怎么了,渐渐的,我们越来越喜欢留在家学书,不想回婆婆家了,便叫妈妈早早煮饭,下午我们回家时就自己弄烧来吃。。有时我们一星期才见婆婆一次。。那时都没有觉得什么。。 一点都不珍惜。。

在婆婆眼里,我是一个不会读书的人。。姐姐妹妹每次都考到很好很好的成绩,而我的成绩却无话可说。。有时她的话会很伤我的心,说我不会读书,以后去supermarket折衣服就好了,不用读到那么惨啦。。大家都笑了。。我想笑,却笑不出。。还是死死假笑,怕她知道我很介意她这样说我。。也不想在亲戚面前哭。。我是一个自尊心很强很强的人。。 说到我不喜欢听的话时,不管对方是认真的,还是开玩笑的。。我一定会生气的。。 我常常都会向妹妹诉苦的。。只有她知道我的心事。。妈妈以前也是常说我,但是当他们发现我不能被讲时,就没有讲我了。。 我不是小气,我只是很容易被伤到,开不起玩笑。。真逊!

得到offer来这里之前,婆婆很不喜欢我做护士,她总是叫我选老师,因为我同时也得到了师训的offer..但最后我还是选护士了。。 婆婆很担心,我便叫她不用担心。。我告诉她我做护士也很好呀,以后她老了我可以照顾她。。她微微笑了。。来到这里时,婆婆常常会打电话给我。。 我不曾自动打给她,有时接不到婆婆的电话,我也没有随时打回给她。。一直拖拖拖才打给她。。 婆婆一定会问我有没有喝水,叫我不要吃炸的东西,不要吃那么多鸡,因为这里的鸡都有打针的,对身体不好。。我都会哦哦哦而已,有没有做到,我自己心知肚明。。 婆婆也叫我帮病人换尿片时一定要戴口罩和手套。。 我有戴手套,我告诉她我不用戴口罩吧,人家会说我千金小姐的。。 但是她坚持叫我戴。。我只好答应她。。 但是我并没有听她的话。。 我还是没有戴。。对不起了,婆婆!

每次回家的时候,婆婆都会买很多东西,叫妈妈煮给我吃。。鱼啦虾啦什么都有。。但是我第二个annual leave时婆婆就不对劲了,她的癌细胞又开始扩散了。。 我一回到家,看到她我便哭了。。她问我为什么哭了,我说因为我很久没有看到她了,很想她。。其实我真的担心婆婆。。 怕哪一天她离开我。。她一直都有接受治疗。。直到八月一号,婆婆打电话给我。。 我那时没有接到她的电话,因为我在study room 学书,准备我的考试了。。可是我的直觉告诉我我应该要打回电话给她。。 我便跑出去,和她说话。。 她说我每次打电话时都没有叫她婆婆的,我那时便叫了她一声婆婆。。 她问我有喝多多水吗,我说有。。我真的有!然后我问她好吗,她说:“婆婆很好,你不要担心” 讲了没到两分钟的电话我们就说再见了。。谁知这两分钟,短短的conversation变成了和婆婆通的最后一次电话,最后一次听到婆婆最温暖的声音。。 那次之后,我不知道几号,大概五号,婆婆就晕倒了。。 被送进医院。。 还中风了。。那时阿盈要去美国了。。大家都叫我回家,探望婆婆。。看到婆婆时,我的鼻子都酸了。。 忍不住哭了起来。。 才一下子而已婆婆就瘫痪在床上,不能动了。。我只能够回三天而已。。 当我要回来kl时,大家都叫我别担心,他们会看好婆婆的。。

Raya时我又回家了。。那时婆婆已经出院了,我一回到家就大声地叫婆婆,告诉她我回来了。。她看到我时,开心地笑了。。还说好... 我那时很高兴,觉得婆婆越来越精神了,还会笑。。 但是第三天,当我去探望她时,她愁眉苦脸的。。 我问爸爸她做么?爸爸说婆婆真的很痛了。。连morphine都止不了她的痛。。婆婆,你的痛,我感受到了。。 我的心很痛很痛。。。一直哭一直哭。。 你也掉眼泪了。。我真的是很舍不得你。。 挣扎了两个月,你终于离开了。。 或许你现在已经在天上看着我了。。 看着我为你流眼泪。。 婆婆,我很替你高兴。。 生老病死是正常的。。我明白。。 那天写了封信,想要等朋友回古晋,然后拿给家里人,叫他们读给你听。。 但是已经来不及了。。不用紧吧。。 有一天我们也会在天上见面的。。 天已亮了。。 刚才祷告时,求主让我在梦里遇见你,想听听你的声音,想看看你最后一次。。 但是没睡觉,就没希望了。。请让我见见你,听你的声音吧婆婆。。

谢谢你从小到大对我的照顾,对我的关怀。。 婆婆,我已经肥了,证明我在这里过得很好,不用担心我。。 你送我的laptop..我也会用我生命来好好的保护它的。。你对我的爱,我永远都不会忘记的。。 我爱你婆婆。。 一路好走!

Sunday, September 26, 2010


NOOOOOOOOOOO! In my previous post i mentioned that my video is successfully submitted dy.. CCRAPS! Tutor said very good very good.. But after our CEO viewed our video, she said we cannot put the Pantai College logo in the video.. we are not promoting our college now.. damn.. why dont u tell earlier??? :( Ok if its because of the logo only.. we still can think of a way to delete the slide.. but now the problem is, they still asked me to give the disc to my english tutor.. ask her to check.. WAH.. =.= she just check and change check and change.. i asked her dont change so much la.. If she change the script,we have to practice all over again man .. she said: Oh my~~ i didnt knew that! -.- ZHI DAO JIU HAO LA! but she still changed a lot so we have to redo and memorize the script again..

We always forget the script and tutor only give us 1 hour to practice and record on the next day.. The 1st time, chaotic.. second time, ok but need more practice.. 3rd time, smooth but when we say thank you and waiting for the conductor to conduct, my tutor suddenly say 'thank you' and smile.. hoi!!! what so funny! we were still recording man...she thought we finished recording dy.. half dead -.- then the 4th time ok la..not so smooth but bopien, must use this one because we dont have time to record anymore.. but i really cant smile at all..the previous one i still can smile nicely ah.. this one my face was like going to kill ppl nia.. zzz.. so friends.. sorry ya for the damn poor video.. memalukan its tooo last minute and we've tried our very best.. and i was wrong about my college la.. they dont want to promote our college.. my tutor said this is world wide video.. to create awareness about breast cancer.. i was thinking.. 才怪啦我的 video can create awareness.. hehe

Sunday, September 19, 2010




Saturday, September 18, 2010

Disaster choral speaking


I have nothing to do now.. just wana write something to spend my hot and boring afternoon.. fuh~

Recently nothing happened to me.. just done with our breast cancer awareness choral speaking.. I got to know that the reason for me to be chosen as assistant group leader is because i was absent for the meeting that day.. No one on the spot wants to be group leader so they came out with this idea: " Eh! choose those who dont come for meeting lo??? " damn! i didnt attend the meeting because i went back to kuching.. that was my emergency leave man.. fine..

Then me and my leader went to meet our tutor in charge for this activity.. But tutor said: " Bernadine, i want u to be the leader! " craps! i am a poor leader.. i was a group leader, lead 10 members.. and house leader.. lead 7 housemates.. My members said they love me as a group leader because :

1. i conduct few meetings as compared to the rest of the group leaders
2. even if i conduct group meeting, our meeting wont exceed 15 mins
3. i always choose to do things by myself..
not because im hardworking.. because i dont like to see people's facial expression when i give them things to do.. AND IM LAZY TO LISTEN TO THEIR EXPLANATION FOR NOT DOING THEIR JOB WELL..

4. i will try my best not to make my group members get into troubles
eg: I lied to my tutor that i forgot to bring pendrive on the day of our presentation.. the pendrive is in my bag.. just that my group members were not ready to present at all.. so.. thanks to me :) tutor nagged me like hell and i saved their lives!

Forget about the leader leader issue.. my breast cancer awareness choral speaking is really a disaster.. that is a competition among the classes in my college i guess?? First price rm500.. *blink* we have to record it, then burn in disc, then upload in you tube..the thing is.. we never took it seriously.. 2 meetings were conducted and we practiced twice only.. when tutor asked me about it, i said.. yea we are doing it well.. we are practicing and bla bla bla..

When the due date is coming, tutor started to ask about our progression and she wanted to see our video.. we just use digital camera to record in class and show her.. of cz.. we didnt memorize the script.. i wrote everything in mahjong paper and put in front.. and they just have to look in front and read.. :p But things turned up to be very sucks.. tutor nagged me like hell again when we showed her the video.. she blamed us because the voice was not clear.. and our actions were not natural.. and many more.. i fought back and said: "Thats the camera's problem! not our voices' problem.." then she said: "is that my problem?? since its camera's problem, then solve it! " then she walked away.

She made me feel very down.. We are students.. how can we afford to have a video cam?? or record in studio?? or she wants radio station?? zz then i started to be serious.. i asked them to practice and practice.. Praise the Lord, my friend said she has a video cam at her house.. i asked her can she go back and take? she said she needs to ask her mother.. Thank God again.. her sporting mother drove all the way from cheras to here just to send the video cam here.. We practiced once again in the class on the next morning.. then record..

We sent the video for tutor to see again.. she said she wants to see the script.. Then she did hell lots of corrections.. asked us to add this add that.. wth! We sent her the script earlier on and she didnt even say anything.. now she wana do sooo many changes.. i was very angry.. but i still change the script.. the problem was.. what will my members think when i tell them we have to practice all over again? =( I wrote everything again and show her.. she said very good.. and asked me to show another tutor.. and another tutor..and another tutor... i showed 4 tutors and changes were made according to their wishes.. We even made a banner for this activity.. until late night..

The next morning, when we were practicing, our tutor saw our banner and she just threw out words that hurt me to the max: " i thought u all are very creative.. is this the only thing u can do?? u all just make my disappointment and expectation down down down to zero.." wei... we just have 1 night to make it okay? i spent my time to colour.. friends spent their time to decorate and the others spent their time to cut.. tho it looks simple but at least thats our hard work ba.. i just stare at her and dun want to layan her anymore..

We practiced in the class again after she went out.. She came in again when we wanted to record.. we just do normally and tried our very best to show her we can do it.. and we practiced till we can memorize the script already so we didnt refer at all.. she clapped her hands and said WELL DONE when we are done.. i was sooo happy!! :) She asked us to show our video to the other tutors.. Then the other tutors still complained about our voice.. They said our voice not clear at all.. so they let us use the hall to record.. ok lo.. record again lo...

In the hall, the last row students stood on chairs and their complain was: Its not nice for them to see the chairs.. Chairs are for people to sit, not stand.. You cant show people things like this in you tube right?? try to record again.. FINE!

Record again..their complain was.. You must have some skills in recording! when one person is speaking, try to zoom her face! make it more interesting! Record again and again and again~ My friends stayed up until 2 just to insert subtitles in it.. they just say change change change without even considering our feelings.. yea i know we must not show such low quality video in you tube.. but we tried our best liao ma.. =( after all the challenges we faced.. finally we have submitted our video successfully.. Now my big question is.. WHY YOU WANT US TO UPLOAD IN YOU TUBE?? CANT U JUST ORGANIZE ONE AND LET US COMPETE IN COLLEGE?? Trying to promote our college? or really about breast cancer awareness.. sigh tired... :( If u happened to watch our video in you tube, dont laugh at me ya! XD Tho lots of changes were made but we still did it erm... badly? i mean not so goodly? or funnily?? XD
Anyway.. trust me.. no matter how bad iT iS.. im still proud to say thats our best master piece ever.. :)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

popo :(

This august is soo chaotic.. my beloved popo is seriously ill and she is in hospital right now.. All my relatives visited her already but not me.. I dont know whats wrong with my aunty and uncle.. They said just because popo yet to see me so she doesnt wana leave yet.. BULLSHIT! if after seeing me will let her leave this world, then i rather dun wana let her see me.. i want her to live longer.. and i have faith that she will get better.. God is with her.. she has been a good christian all these while.. there is no way God will let her suffer.. sigh*

They even bought the clothes and big house that people used to burn for the dead person.. =.=!!! Do u have to prepare all these right now??? u just make me feel that u cant wait for her to leave.. sorry to say that but i really hate it! They urged me to go back to kuching tomorrow.. if everything goes smoothly then i can see her 2mr.. i hope by seeing me her condition will turn better.. not like what they said.. can leave this world without feeling reluctant..

This is a picture of my popo.. i asked aying to take a pic of her to let me see.. Tubes all over her body.. tears cant stop flowing down when i see this.. :(

She called me at 1st of august and told me she is perfectly fine when i asked her how is she.. she asked me to drink more water, eat healthy food and must take care.. but now.. she cant even open her mouth and talk.. i really cant take this.. oh lord... :'(

Must get well soon, popo..

I swear that my popo is one of the most important person in my life.. I know everyone will leave, and maybe by leaving this world will make her feel better, but i pray to God to reduce her pain and let miracle happen to her.. i pray for my grandma because the Lord's word says i should pray for her healing.. I believe God hears my earnest prayer from my heart and i have faith in God to heal her..

Lord, i dont always understand Your ways, and why my grandmother has to suffer.. but i trust you,..I ask that You look with mercy and grace towards my grandmother.. Nourish her spirit and soul in time of suffering and comfort her with your presence.. Let her knows that You are there with her through this difficulties..

I know you will get better, popo.. Hang in there! dont worry k? even if you leave, you also will be going to heaven and meet gong gong... after a while we will meet again up there.. thats the real and eternal reunion..

Friday, July 16, 2010

Happy Birthday

Thanks to your mum, because of her, i can meet u

Friday, June 4, 2010

True ghost stories

Ghost ghost ghost again.. O.O! i had my night shift in Pantai Hospital Bangsar for 3 nights.. Thank God i never met any of them but i heard a lot from friends and staff nurses..

Story 1:
This is a true story based on my senior. It was 4am..She wanted to go 7th floor to take something for staff nurse and as she went into the lift, a guy entered with her.. The guy looked like a doctor, might be due to his physical appearance and the way he dressed himself up.. My senior wished him good morning but there was no respond from him. The guy went behind her and my senior asked him which floor is he heading to.. No respond from him too.. So my senior assumed that the doctor is heading to the same floor as her too.. It was pin drop silence and suffocating in the lift.. When they reached 7th floor, she turned behind slowly... and guess what..the so called doctor is gone...She was alone in the lift.. If i were the girl, i would collapse on the spot.. Total shut down.. tehee*

Story 2:
This is a true story based on myself! :) When i was having my evening shift, it was 8pm.. Everyone was busy with their works.. When i was standing at the counter and doing something else, i heard loud noise in front of the 4 bedded room.. Those were indian staff nurses.. They spoke in Tamil and looked so scared.. i was the only chinese so i was like yeah what the hell?? Then my Indian friend told me they saw someone lying on the bed in that dark, cold and empty 4 bedded room.. The 4 bedded room has a window on the door so we can actually see through the room.. 2 staff nurses saw him and they believed he was the patient who died 2 weeks ago on that bed.. I was so daring to go and check in that room.. For God's sake i see nothing.. phew!

Story 3:
This is a true story based on my friend.. It was night shift as well.. She attended a call bell in the middle of the night and it was double bedded room.. The double bedded room only has 1 patient inside and the patient always complain that the tv beside her always switch on by itself... Besides that, my friend always attend "prank" call bell.. XD When she entered the room, it was empty room with zero patient in it.. So who presses the call bell?? God knows.. hee

Story 4:
This is a true story based on my friend too.. It was 7pm, when she was taking care of an old indian grandma, the grandma kept on pointing to the ceiling.. My friend get annoyed and scared because she doesnt know what is the grandma pointing at..and lastly she said.. "she always look at me.." WAHH!! total shut down! :(

Story 5:
Last night around 2.30am, my ward received a new admission.. She is an old chinese grandma.. I did some orientation to her regarding to her room..She is alone in the 4 bedded room.. But she wasnt looking at me when i was explaining everything to her.. her eyes kept on looking at the bed which is opposite to hers..Then i asked her whether she wants to screen her curtain or not and she nodded.. so i screened it.. Then the upper part of the curtain has some kinda hole or dunno what la.. its decoration of the curtain anyway.. The creepy thing was she kept on looking at the hole and then..she smiled.. My face turned O.O!! then i switched off her light and ran out for my life.. arhhhh~ It was midnight and i was alone.. i dont care whether she smiled to me or she recalled something sweet or she memang like to smile.. This is just soo creepy! oh lord.... :( i cant ask her what is she smiling at.. if she answers: i smile to that lady who is sitting on that bed ya! or she says: " Neh, she is coming and she is just beside u.. " i will... BLAHH dunno what will happen to me by then..

Hantu hantu hantu.. They are everywhere.. I still have many true ghost stories here.. in my condo also got.. but just forget about it.. dont wana show my interest towards them.. hehe.. :( scary~

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Agressive ah kong

A 96 years old ah kong had just admitted to hospital yesterday.. He was okay yesterday.. he allowed us to check his temperature blood pressure and everything.. But today i dunno what happened to him. When my friend and i wanted to check his vital sign, he scolded my friend.. he said why we can wear baju, he cant wear baju.. i got shocked.. then he took away his blanket and showed us.. yea he is naked.. hehee.. i said maybe he is fever thats why doctor took his clothes away in hokkien.. we communicate in hokkien anyway.. But we still couldnt take his vital sign at all.. He kept on scolding my friend, said he wana tie her up and let her taste the feeling of death.. i laughed hard ah.. so cute~

After a while,a chinese staff nurse asked me to go into his room with her.. she wanted to change his bedsheet.. But the ah kong became more aggresive when he saw the staff nurse.. he wanted to punch her.. and scratch her hands when staff near was beside him.. hehe seriously i was laughing there..:P Then he kept on scolding the staff nurse, said we do all this just wana eat his money.. give medication also wana eat his money.. and he even used the call bell to hit staff nurse.. swing swing swing the call bell there.. 96 years old.. imagine~

I just kept quiet there.. i looked at him for a long time.. he made me think of my grandpa.. :( Staff nurse had not much time to layan him so she asked me to take back call bell from him and she went out..

I apologized to him first then i talked to him softly and gently.. okay i expect him to shout at me too.. i stood very far from him.. Surprisingly, he answered me slowly too.. He tried to talk to me and tell me something, i couldnt listen clearly so i went beside him and listen.. He touched my hand.. and begged me to call his son to come.. i was like.. awwww... :( i said.. "ok ok ah kong.. wa kio yi lai.. lu tang ha..u give me that call bell first ah kong... i need to use that call bell to call ur son.." Then he gets mad and said.. "this is to call misi! not to call my son!" wah.. so clever.. hehehe..k lo mission failed.. i went out and never go in again..

Then few hours later, i heard the staff nurse complained that the uncle hit her with call bell and scolded c***i c***i.. waaaa.. ah kong, not bad bo.. still know this bad word.. And he chased his relatives out too.. i guess he is waiting for someone.. someone that he really wana see the most..T.T

Then the last time staff nurse asked me to empty his catheter and measure his urine.. so i went in with hati yang berdebar debar.. i scared he will hit me with call bell too since i will be doing something on him.. But he was sleeping that time.. i looked at him and he suddenly wake up.. i was like.. " oh shit matilah aku " Then he looked at me and smiled to me.. he told me he is going back.. awww.. then i said.. wah ah kong, ane lu ma si jing hua hi? ( then u must be very happy lo? ) then he smiled and said yea.. jing hua hi.. he said i have 孝心 ah.. XD! nah.. im just being human.. :)

K la ah kong.. take good care of yourself la.. i dont wana see u here again oh.. :P Thats all~ hee

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Im terribly bad mood now!!! there's an anonymous kept spamming me and miss call me.. say he wana tell me something.. and kept asking me know who he is or not.. I KNOW! BUT IM NOT INTERESTED TO KNOW YOU!! AND I DONT WANA ADMIT I KNOW YOU!!! If i say i know u, how should i react when i see you?! He just text me again and say " haha die u ".. okay... what the hell is he trying to say?? i get pissed off so i replied him and asked him to tell whatever he wana say in ONE message and DONT SPAM.. u know what he replied me?? he said next time baru he tell.. now nt in a good mood and busy now.. woah.. like i care...zzz its now or NEVER.. if u dont wana tell now.. dont tell me and dont find me forever please..... i dont have so much time to bother about u.. and one more thing.. his english SUCKS till the max la.. i dont even understand a single thing he said.. thats the most annoying thing!

haih.... i know im very bad by telling all this.. honestly im being a bit discriminate too.. but thats human being.. what more can i say? since i cant tell people..this is the only way i can express my feeling.. and one more thing that made me sad and angry too.. but im too lazy to mention about it liao.. speechless * you just take more than u give~

Monday, April 12, 2010

5 alpha

I realized that its been a long long time since i last chatted with my kuching friends..I just wana let all of u know that.. no matter how many friends i have here, none of them can menandingi you all in my heart..

and i tried to draw our sitting plan in 5 alpha few days ago when i was having my class.. amazingly, i can remember clearly everyone's seats.. except sebas and the gang there.. im not that sure about that because they always change their seats.. this shows how naughty they were.. tehee*

I dont wana forget our every single sweet and bitter moments together.. the time when we gossiped and talked in chin chee leong's class, the time when we ejek teachers' name, the time when we laughed hard at steven ong's lame jokes, such as.. " you can write in any paper, but not toilet paper.. " with his 24/7 = = eyes and his square face..XD the time when we fell asleep in sejarah class, oh by the way.. who's our sejarah teacher during f5?? O.o and the only time when we were very serious during phys and bio class.. jacinta always can read people's mind,*hate it* and angie leong.. the fierce and at the same time, quite lovely teacher.. and the time when we laughed at our "princess fiona".. hehehee..

heehee i love kuching! because you all came into my heart and left a smile on my face right now.. :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Most of the nurses are kind and gentle, but i read an article today.. thats terribly sucks..

A pregnant lady is admitted into hospital because she is going to give birth soon.. One night, due to contraction of her uterus, she was having severe pain.. and she pressed call bell to seek help from nurses.. that was in the middle of the night.. Maybe because she woke the nurses up or what ( which we dont know what were they doing that time ).. the nurses were very angry.. they scolded her and said :

" sekarang mengadu sakit, masa buat kenapa tak mengadu sakit? "

(oh by the way, they are not supposed to sleep during night shift!)

and this is a hospital in kl, but didnt state which hospital is that.. and its a high class hospital too.. i wonder.. which hospital is that... tsk tsk tsk...

food food food.. cook for me la~~

i owe you this..

You owe me this!


Saturday, March 13, 2010

my love story!

Love is not finding someone to live with, It's finding someone you can't live without.

Do u still remember i told u this before?
My love for you is a journey
Starting at forever
And ending at never.. :P

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Sweet moment

This is my second day in kuching.. few more days to go.. :'(
Instead of ice cool finger that pokes me to wake me up everyday in kl, daddy woke me up by calling me bibi and say : eee? 做么多出一个肥婆在睡觉呢?i opened my eyes and replied him with a smile, then continue to sleep..

Instead of small hard bed and very warm room in kl, i can fall asleep in just few minutes on my big, comfy bed and cold room.. with teddy bears and pillows surrounding me..awwww..

Instead of all kinds of nasi goreng, from nasi goreng biasa till nasi goreng pattaya la, nasi goreng ayam la kampung la cili padi la cendawan la.. i really enjoy eating mummy's home made food.. simple vege and fish and meat with soup..

I just went to my 奶妈's house.. which means my baby sitter.. she told us many stories.. she said when i was a baby i cried the most..I stayed in my "sarung" and watched an indian movie, the scene was about the bad guy wanted to kill a baby..maybe because he is black? or i kesian the baby? nah dunno why.. i cried till very loud.. she got scared and rushed to me.. wondering why am i crying since there is nothing to make me cry.. hihik silly baby.. then my dadi said im caring since baby.. should say i love to cry since baby la..

She also told us when we were baby, mummy bought a packet of sugar and fetch us home from 奶妈's house.. then we played with the sugar on our bed while mummy was busy cooking.. she didnt know that we were playing with the sugar..then when she came in our room, we were tearing the packet and sugar is all over our bed.. plus daddy went to miri to work that time.. 妈咪肯定气死了!heehee

Today is valentine's day.. so boring.. honey ah.. why i dont have present kei?? heehee..

Happy Chinese New Year
Happy Valentine's Day everyone~
还有,我爱你哦哈尼! 嘻嘻

Sunday, January 31, 2010


最近心情十分糟糕。。不知道为什么。。 原因只有几个,那就是:

1. 和学长们posting.. 因为我在那里是唯一一个学妹,她们老是吩咐我做东做西,而她们则在那里谈天说地。。 还讲我, 说我做的很慢。。 当时我生气了,瞪了她一眼就走掉。。 这么厉害就自己做啦。。我不介意做这么多工,但是当我做得脸都红红,肚子一直打鼓都还没停下来时,你连理都没有理我, 只会以非常骄傲的语气说我做得慢,叫我快一点。。好失望!我一个人要拿完二三十个病人的温度,血压,脉搏和心跳叻! 一个人哦! 没累死也忙死啦。。T.T staff nurses都知道我有乖乖的做工,她们给我吃鸡排呢! ward aid也请我一片pizza..怕我太忙而忘了吃我的pizza,她帮我打包起来,叫我带回家吃。。 然后当我在做工时,staff nurse打了打我的屁股,叫我去休息,不要累坏身体。。给学长们做。。 最好!>.<

2. 不知那一个家伙惹我的哈尼生气了。。搞得他每天都坏心情。。 如果被我发现到那是哪一只家伙。。你死定了!讨厌你!害得我每天也跟着他坏心情。。 有多么多话要跟他说,有多么多故事要分享。。但是他那么伤心,我怎么能说呢? :"(

*好想要对你说我好想你哦。。 好久没见到你了。。 下次见到你不知道会不会害羞叻ho? hehe*
你要加油哦。。打败坏蛋! 子玲铁定支持你的!

我的华语有一点进步了哦~ (*^__^*) 嘻嘻……!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Doctor ma ma wo!

Day off today but i have nothing to do.. so sesat la.. im the only one who has day off today so i cant go anywhere alone.. sigh..

Yesterday was a tough day.. Got scolded by doctor.. grrr..He asked me to get him an incopad.. but i didnt open for him.. i just gave him and he scolded me.. ask me why never open for him..he asked us why wana be a nurse, nurse should be functional..should think! then my friend laughed.. then he scold us again.. ask us we think that its funny kah? why laugh and smile.. we were like O.O! sorry la how we know wor.. T.T Then he asked me to stay with him and asked my friend to call staff nurse..He nagged a lot and gosh.. I was standing beside him and dunno what to answer.. He gets mad simply because the things that he wanted were not in the trolley.. when he asked us where is the syringe, my friend told him finish already and the staff nurse is finding.. He shouted and said dont give him such stupid rubbish reason.. and keep scolding the staff nurse and ask him dont give him that bloody trolley..

Seniors came in and he scolded them also.. they were like O.O WTH.. what is doing on?? heehee.. Then i sneaked out from that room.. Dont wana stay there and get scolded la.. so tension! but no matter how.. i stil respect him.. he is cool~ especially when he is serious.. heehee

Off again tomorrow.. can go kai kai with friend lo 2mr.. pia cny clothes.. and pia for afui la.. always ask me to buy for her nia wor.. your jie jie also pok kai liao la.. but sure thing my dear.. sure i will buy for u la.. ^^ love me? thanks.. hee

Thursday, January 21, 2010


为什么我最近总是发脾气呢? 总是为了一点小事而生气。。开始觉得累了。。我不想当家里的ketua。。更不想当group leader。。 好压力哦。。 那天才被老师骂。。 好讨厌。。 当然不是我的错,但是不管发生什么事, 当然是我先中咯!成员没有practice procedure,我中! 成员不会做,我中! 什么都是我。。 好烦。。。回想当天我几认真的叫每位成员一定一定要练习。。 她们只是非常敷焉的答应我而已。。谁知第二天我真的是因为没有好好练习而被骂得狗血淋头。。讨厌!讲真的也是那个 讨厌鬼老师啦。。随便骂人。。。当我不知道是太生气还是伤心还是羞耻而掉下我宝贵的眼泪时, 我的成员们跑过来sayang 我。。向我道歉。。嘻嘻。。 知道为什么我要那么认真的叫你们练习了啦? hmmk..现在更加糟高,男生总是来我的家。。 虽然不是来做什么,来上网而已。。 但是如果被warden发现到。。 我就等死吧。。 你们不要在给我添麻烦了啦。。 真是好生气哦!

不管怎样,规则始终是规则。。不管我几讨厌,也要尊守。。我不高兴如果我的朋友为了一时的贪玩而犯规。。我不想见到自己的好朋友中骂。。 如果你被学校踢走, 我肯定会十万分的伤心的。。 不管平时几不认真,几顽皮, when comes to serious thing.. no means no! 不要对我撒娇,谢谢。 我不吃这一套的。。

英文老师那天叫我们讲一讲在这里认识的新朋友。。 我认真的回想从第一天到现在的朋友们。。 好想哭哦。。 认真的想了过后才发现身旁有那么多位非常疼我的朋友。。 我为了过年不能回家,哭了不知道几多公升的眼泪。。 每天在班都以泪洗脸。。 虽然你觉得有一点夸张, 当是我就是这么夸张。。 我多么多么想家你们知道吗。。 就是这时侯我的朋友们每天都安慰我,sayang我。。 她们一有回家乡就会问我想吃什么。。 她们带了好多好多食物给我哦! 有时我会觉的好幸福嘢! 嘻嘻。。
现在能会家了。。 我真的好高兴。。 因为我的朋友们咯。。 向校长说肯让我回家。。我才有家好回啊! 太感激大家了。。 <3

after all.. college life is not that bad ma.. :) without my beloved family and honey and friends.. i still have new friends to take care of me here.. so dont worry about me k? i will take good care of myself.. see you all soon in kuching oh! hee

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy 3rd anniversary!

Dear :

You chased me during f2,
By giving me a lil teddy bear for valentine's day
But you didnt confess anything to me
Our relationship was like a lil lil bit closer than friends only

During f3,
Someone told u that im a play girl
That makes u gave up on me
and u like other girl
So am i..
I liked other guy too that time
Then we lost contact since then..

During f4,
We went for addmaths tuition together
Im still in love with that guy
But u no longer like the girl
You told me all your problems
And thats the time where we were getting closer and closer
And i told u one guy in our tuition centre is handsome
So as u.. u told me a girl is pretty
We keep on exchanging information about the handsome guy and the pretty girl XD

One day,
i told u that the guy that i used to love didnt reply my message anymore

And he doesnt like me anymore
He likes another girl
U keep on comforting me
Ask me dont be sad
And at that moment
U found out that the pretty girl is unavailable too
Both of us were sad that time..

We went to sarikei camp together
The jungle was very dark till we cant see a thing
I hold ur hand tightly because i was afraid
U sprained your ankle when u were walking with me
U took some food and searched for me when u knew that i havent took my dinner
I was the only chinese in your group
You protected me and took care of me whenever and wherever i go
Though i dont like u that time
But i can feel something
U were extraordinary caring towards me

One night
When i was cooking my supper in the middle of the night

U text me
And asked me whether u can be my bf or not
I rejected u..
Because i wana maintain this kinda relationship
I like u but i dont wana have a bf

But obviously,
Our relationship is more than just friends
And that created many troubles too
Friends started to quarrel with me
Started to think that i have neglected them
Started to think that im not the one i used to be
But im still me..
And i was really depressed that time

During f5,
Under depression
I started to beh song u
I still dont wana accept u that time
But on valentine's day
U gave me a rose
A pink rose
I took care of the rose very well
I really dont want it to die
When it finally dies
I felt very sad
Like i have lost something important
Thats the time when i realised that
I've been loving you
And i've been missing you so badly

I stayed up late
Just to make you a lil card
and telling you that
I accept you as my bf officially now
Thats 16th of february..
Our anniversary
When i accept u officially my dear

I put the card in your reference book
And asked u to read when you are home
You said u read in the car
And u smiled alone
That makes me smiled sweetly too
I know that
You are the one that im looking for

Tho you are not sensitive at all
Tho you always make me angry
Tho you spend most of your time with games
And tho people dont look up on our relationship
But here we are
This is our 3rd year now honey
We are still as stable as tembok china

I just wana say that
You are my best bf ever..
I love you honey..
Happy 3rd anniversary!