Brand new experience :)

Since i have no one to talk to, let me just share it here la ;)

Im currently posted in the most most mOST happening ward in Pantai Bangsar Hospital, which is ward D2. If im not mistaken this is an orthopedic ward so you can find lots of fracture cases where patients cant move at all, so its our job to maintain their skin integrity so that sores will not occur.

I have this old patient with 92 years of life experience, he is warded due to malnutrition. At first when i look at him, he looks so (sorry to say) scary. Very thin, has an nasogastric tube, i can only see his sclera and his mouth is constantly open to gasp for air (i think). So there's this day, I was instructed by staff nurse to change his pampers, that was my first contact with him. I tried to move his legs because i need to take the soiled pampers out but his body is too stiff, and he shouted "aaaAAH" when i moved his body. I got scared! (as in omg did i hurt u??) but i was with staff nurse that time so ok la, not too bad =x

Since i am quite a senior in that ward ;p, staff nurses will call me to do every single thing, from big to small, clean to dirty because they believe that i can handle the responsibility now and do everything alone without help. So... They started to ask me to change ah kong's position, change his pampers and feed him through the tube, without giving me the chance to find a partner to help me. (I MUST SAY THIS: In a busy ward they will just throw tons of instructions to you, your answer must be yes, not but! "but staff nurse, i dont have partner to help me" << try to say this, and you're dead. =x they will not accept any excuses or craps) At first it was kinda hard for me, very hard actually, i tried to find my junior to help me but geez! where on earth is everyone? no choice, had to do all by myself.I went into his room, pulled the curtain, make sure no one sees me so that i can figure out what to do with him inside ;p i stood there looking at him, really dont know how should i start. :c To cut the story short, i managed to change his position and pampers and feed him successfully but of course, he was in pain, and begged me to stop moving him. sigh failed =x

That night, i prayed to God to give me strength and wisdom to help him, i also prayed to God to reduce his pain and make him feel better. Its sad for me to see him suffer like that, he reminds me of my grandma :C The next day, like usual, im supposed to change his position and pampers and feed him every 3 hourly in 1 shift, so i will be seeing him almost all the time in that ward. I kept saying sorry whenever i hurt him, talked to him although he is not so responsive, and hold his hand when he is in pain. I felt like im treating him like my own grandpa already. Yesterday i was in evening shift so when i reached the hospital, i visited him. He became so weak. He will shook his head to ask me to stop instead of voicing out his pain because he's too weak to shout. At night,I was supposed to feed him at 9pm but my bus will pick us at 9pm, i really dont know what to do. I asked staff nurse, she said, kalau tak buat, siapa boleh tolong saya? with kesian face.. aiti act kesian with me..then i say ok la saya buat la, so i did it very very quickly, like i didnt even talk to him, i just quietly do and finish everything in 5 minutes. (my bus will leave me if im late!) I felt very bad in the bus, i dont know why. I felt that im not sincere at all.. I went home and prayed again, this time i prayed for his healing and asked God to take away his pain.

Today, ah kong seemed responsive, he started to nod his head when i talked to him, i tried to ask for his permission to do the routine procedure on him, surprisingly he nodded his head! :D i was very happy that time! :)) His mouth and teeth is full with blood stain so staff nurse asked me to perform mouth care for him, so.. i need to clean his teeth! ;D i felt like im taking care of a baby eh, feed, change pampers, and now.. clean teeth! i've learnt that in sem 1 but surprisingly this is my 1st time doing this procedure. I prepared everything, covered spatula with gauze and used that to clean his teeth, together with a solution. I told ah kong i need to clean his teeth and asked him dont be afraid because this is not hurt at all, i suppose? Clean clean clean and i started to think that the spatula is too big for his mouth, so i used my hand instead to clean the unreachable part. I naughtily said, uncle dont bite my hand oh! and he opened his eyes and look at me. @.@ terkejut :p I dont know where is the blood in his mouth from so i dont really dare to clean every part thoroughly, so the last part, i asked him to open his mouth and show his tongue because i need to clean his tongue. SURPRISINGLY! he followed my order! i said that just for fun and just to inform him i am going to clean his tongue only, never did i expect that he will listen and follow my instruction. awwww~ When i was cleaning he always open his small eyes and look at me. So sweet kan? :D

I still have 3 days in that ward, i really hope that i have the chance to see ah kong being discharged from hospital. 92 years old is not easy, hang in there ah kong! Get well soon! ;)